Hurricane 12 hit here this morning. Category 5. Batten down the hatches, people.
Can a 12 year old boy be hormonal??? I swear 12 is on Day 1 of his period. This morning was epic hormonapalooza. We woke up a teeny bit late (the Frug and I went out for Wrench’s bday and were a wee bit tired this morning) so that started things off with a bang – literally. I went in, tentatively b/c I am also not a pleasant morning creature (understatement), and gently woke him up. He immediately started screaming “OMG!! MMOOOOMMM!!! I’m late!! I’m late!! Aaaaaahhhhh!!” All while NOT getting out of bed. Finally gets up only to realize his Mass pants are too tight – the ones I just bought (since his Doritos and Milk Shakes diet had caused him to outgrow all of his clothes during the 2 months of summer.) The pants, which he tried on on SUNDAY, were fine that day. I was puzzled. This is when I realized “OH! He has his period!” A little period tummy bloat kwim? Or maybe just the Chinese food and regular Coke? Either way His Majesty’s pants were too tight. And there were no other options. “I can’t go to school like this?” Writhing and screaming on the floor. “I’m going to be uncomfortable all day!!” Moaning. Shrieking.
I handled all of it with my usual aplomb. Calm, cool and collected. *searching for the sarcasm font*
“MOM! My belt??? Where is my belt?” Proceeds to throw several belts (“too small! too tight! AAHH!”) around his room.
8 hid in his room. Otis was in his crate, head hung low…gave me a look that said “do not open that door”… The Frug apparently left the country.
“This SUCKS!” (again, why does he think he can say this word?? *growls*)
Me? So so calm, zen-like actually. In my happy place. Parenting him like a pro. *scrambling to find the Bald-Faced Lie font*
Note: Struggled with bald-faced lie vs bold-faced lie…apparently, there’s also a more correct phrase which is “bare-faced lie.” Who knew?
“I hate this toothpaste!!”
“Who stole my hair gel????”
Okay, so my 12 year old doesn’t like his outfit and is having a bad hair day. Girl child or boy child?
**which one of my RL friends wanted to ‘Call in Ugly’ to work?? I think of that sometimes and giggle to myself**