IS there an app for that??

Was driving in DC yesterday, looking for a GD parking spot OR (less frugal obvs) a damn parking garage. None. As I circled the building I was looking for, I thought “okay, ‘We’ve got an app for that’ jerks, IS there an app for THIS f*ckery?”

Think about it, an open street parking app with a back-up pay-garage option. Obviously, this would be difficult AND require minute-by-minute updates — but how cool would that be?!

Constraints for someone like me would have to take into account the size of my vehicle and my degree of parallel parking disability (severe).

The app would also have to have speech-to-text and text-to-speech capability b/c of the anti mobile phone laws. I would also want it to factor in right-handedness–the Frug is a lefty and I swear to God, the man can only see parking spots on the left hand side of the road, requiring Kamikaze u-turns (and screaming from me).  *I* can only do right side of the road parking spots with gigantic spaces and preferably no one else parked nearby (for their own safety).

My new Fail Wagon (aka the seemingly invisible gray Toyota Highlander) doesn’t have the beep beep beep parking assist that the wonderful and non-generic Jeep Commander had! *sighs* A crappy parker like me needs that, kwim?  AND, since I had that for 3 years, I had really come to rely on it. So, beware. J/s.

So, you got an app for that?? Hmm?

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