It’s Beginning to Look a LOT Like…

…Imabitchmas…*sighs* I just can’t “Get in the Holiday Spirit”, whatever that means. The pile of To-Do’s is suffocating me…and making me irritable…really freaking irritable…downright evil.

I’ve been thinking of the lovely, heartfelt “gifts” I’ve been giving those closest to me…

The poor Frug has been getting *narrowed eyes*, *incredulous snorts* and *baleful glares*…and heavy(er) use of sarcasm…

The kids are getting *benign neglect* (Holy crap, neglect is an ugly word! Help me find another one — something to describe the kids yammering on and on and me nodding and saying “uh huh, uh huh” Surely that’s not neglect?!)

Otis, aka Barky McNeedy, and his late night whining and tummy troubles? He’s been getting a load of *simmering hostility*…and yet I am worried about the poor thing. Sometimes I think the Worry List is longer than the To-Do’s. And then I worry about THAT! Lol

Fiona, mama’s quiet, self-sufficient angel has been *halfhearted petting* and she deserves so much more!  She however, being a cat, has gifted me lately with *narrowed eyes* and *disgusted sneers*…

The ever-delightful drivers get *seething outrage*and “screaming curses*…and I am unrepentant about that! (and this is now Christmas-specific either)

So, I am not a songwriter (as you will soon see!) but my “gifts” made me think of the 12 Days of Christmas Song…and made me decide to desecrate it! Sing with me, everyone!

On the First Day of ImaBITCHmas, Kelysuperficial gave to me:

A Screaming Banshee in a Speeding SUV

(skip to last day)

On the 12th Day of ImaBITCHmas, Kelysuperficial gave to me:

12 Nasty Shrews

11 Screaming Curses

10 WTFs

9 Disgusted Snorts

8 Shrieks of outrage

7 Rude Hand Gestures

6 Sarcastic Comments

5 Passive-Aggressive Retorts

4 Evil Cackles

3 Sarcastic Comments

2 Neglected Children

and

A Screaming Banshee in a Speeding SUV

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This entry was posted on December 15, 2010, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments

6 thoughts on “It’s Beginning to Look a LOT Like…

  1. Oh I’m getting to the same point as you…. minus the two kids of course, but add in a kitchen renovation and a miserable sick husband and I think we’re about even.

  2. hahahahah! The smug Bit. that I have become says YES! I remember it well!All of the YEARS of that jolly Holiday exhaustion. That is why I go to Mexico! You can do it too when the beastie boys are a bit older! Enough of the shopping, decorating, baking and parties.Surrender to sun and no stress!You will get through it and you will have WONDERFUL memories – or not!
    xx M

  3. I have a vivid picture of banshee Kelly leaving the Target parking lot, gesturing, grumbling, and cutting someone off in her lane, while two sweet little cherub like children sit neglected in the backseat crying with dear sweet Otis. (Fiona doesn’t do cars). MFC babe!

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