Etiquette Advice Needed

Setting: Ladies’ Locker room, Gold’s Gym, Virginia

Mood: Horrified

Am freezing after being out w/my darling doggie. As I sometimes do, I decided to warm up in the sauna for a couple of minutes prior to my grueling workout. *winks* There’s one other woman in there…she’s in her workout clothes, just like I am.

I go to the 2nd level of seating and sort of curl up into myself, just relaxing, kwim? The other woman is just sitting, zoning out. We’re minding our own business. Doing what one does in the sauna, right?

In walks a woman. Older, possibly early ’70s. Indian or from that corner of the world. (not trying to be racist, just setting the scene). She is butt ass naked. Stark fucking naked. I quickly avert my eyes. I note that the other women now has her eyes focused on the ceiling. Naked grandma sits her bare ass down on the seat just below me. She has a tiny bowl of some sort of oil – I’m thinking “JFC, what is she going to use that for?”and *gulps* “where?” *tiny shriek*  Then she lays down. Did I mention that she is NAKED? In one part of my mind I register that she’s had at least one csection.  Another part notes her lack of grooming.  Amazing how one can notice things while attempting to not notice anything, isn’t it?

Meanwhile, I am TRAPPED. She’s on the bench below me…all nude and icky. How do I get out??? I can’t just jump over her. And I sure as hell am not going to tap her and say “excuse me”, kwim??  Other chick escapes quickly. Damn her. Damn her to hell.

Naked woman sits up and I see my chance to escape and take it!  I leap past her and race out of there!  *shudders*

So, tell me. Is it okay to be freaking NAKED in a gym sauna like that? If it’s okay (which it so ISN’T), is it sanitary to have your naked ASS on the seat like that? How many times have I been in there not realizing that some gross person has had her sweaty ass on the seat right beforehand??? *screams* Thankfully, I know that *I* have never been naked in there and if I sat on a tainted seat, it was through yoga pants. But still!!!  Naked butt spores!  aaahhh!

So, am I crazy to be totally squicked out???


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