Asking for forgiveness in advance because this post is going to be filled with *swooning* and *panting* and some *shrieking*
I neglected to fill you in on a fun night from a few weeks ago. We met up with a group of friends on a Friday night (side note, I hate going out on Friday nights–feels too rushed –I have to race home from work–oh, wait…no I don’t! haha)…specifically, we went to meet a friend’s new boyfriend. Here’s the backstory…
(Btw, the full version of the following events is going to be in Robin’s screenplay — it’s that good! *swoons*)
So, Michelle was heading home from a business trip to Africa (everyone has business trips to Africa, right?)…decided to take a side trip to visit friends in Amsterdam (why not, right?) …got on the plane in Dubai (I think) and there was a mixup with the seating…she ended up seated next to HIM. They talk and laugh and bond the whole way to Amsterdam…he gives her his number in case she gets bored with her friends…she calls/texts…they meet up…sparks fly again…she leaves for home…texting, skyping…she flies to be with him for New Year’s…it’s all still there (’cause sometimes it’s NOT and you have awkward!)…and then he comes to DC…and here we are to meet him.
He is PERFECT. Good looking, sort of reminded me of Mikhail Baryshnikov in SATC *swoons*, a bit older (whatever that means, right? Just that he is a MAN and not a boy), fit, smart (a doctor, I think?), speaks FOUR languages…need I go on?? He is obviously c-r-a-z-y about her…*swoons* he took the time to speak with everyone there, so personable…but was always near her…*sighs dreamily*
So, I’m 3 proseccos in and zero food (Wrench and the Frug were gobbling all the apps in a thinly veiled effort to keep their wives from getting fat *growls*)…
Me: So, how’s the sex?
Robin: KELLY! I can’t believe you asked her that!
Me: *ignores Robin*
Me: So, how’s the sex???
Michelle: *giggles* It’s AMAZING. He says “just lay back and let me pleasure you all night long”
Me: *screams* and *passes out*
Sweet Mother of Hot Sexxing…just let me pleasure all night?! Who says that???! More to the point…what AMERICAN man would say that?? It’s more like “Blow Me” with one of them, kwim?? *fans self* Seriously. UNF.
So, it gets better. I know, HOW could it be better??
They met up in Miami this past weekend…*drum roll*…they are now ENGAGED…ring and everything…she’s planning on moving over there…where she will continue to lay back and be pleasured all freaking night long and they will have beautiful multilingual babies and live happily ever after.
So glad I’m married, b/c if I were single, a story like this would have me taking a swan dive off of the nearest roof.
Congrats to Happy Couple!!!