Untitled Valentine Feces Post

Sorry, not feeling the romance tonight…just feeling like waxing poetic on 9’s bowel habits. Enjoy! *giggles*

I am beginning to think 9 is part canine. He seems to have a compulsion to “mark his territory”…but with feces.

Everywhere we go, it’s guaranteed that we’ll here those magic words “Need to go poop!”  All of our family stories are punctuated with cute anecdotes like:

“Oh yeah, that’s where he pooped out of his diaper and had to be hosed down in the sink”


Oh, yes…I remember that Wendy’s! That’s where I had to stand him up against the bathroom wall like a prisoner to scrape all the poop off of him!”

Good times, good times.

Dinners out? “Need to go poop!” just as my entree arrives. Long car trips? “Need to go poop!” when we are miles from an exit. At the beach, “Need to go poop!” is especially terrifying because the deed must be done in a steaming hot port-a-potty…

Thankfully, the child can now wipe his own ass. Well, sort of. I have strict cleanness rules for asses…a clean ass is a happy ass, right? Vigorous and thorough wiping is required….I still need to inspect his work sometimes (fine motor skill issues, you know?)…*sighs*

I’m also thankful that I cannot accompany him to the bathroom now when we’re out. One bonus with having only boys — after a certain age, they cannot go into the ladies room! Woot!  The Frug, naturally, will not interrupt his own dinner for 9’s call of nature…we now send a very annoyed 12 with him…no, he’s not there to wipe his brother (both inappropriate and awkward and possibly illegal in many states)…he’s there as a lookout or to be on alert for fecal emergencies, kwim? 😉

Why am I thinking of this? Other than enjoying the subject matter? (old people love to talk bodily functions, right?) Well, my birthday dinner featured a post-dessert stage whisper of “need to go poop!! and our drop off of the Frug at the airport the other day was , of course, interrupted by it. I love 12’s preteen annoyance…”OMG MOM! 9 is pooping in there! It’s so embarrassing!” haha he apparently likes to engage him in a little conversation whilst pooping…words accompanied by grunting and plopping sounds! Hahaha

I’m sure none of this is related to my own need to pee every 45 minutes…that’s merely due to excessive diet coke consumption and old age…surely not genetic. *giggles*

This entry was posted on February 14, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment

One thought on “Untitled Valentine Feces Post

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Untitled Valentine Feces Post « Kelly's Superfical -- Topsy.com

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