Miracle diet tip from 12

Ah, the innocence of youth. Today 12 gave me a million dollar bit of advice. *rolls eyes*

12: So, uh, um, yeah, I totally chugged a bottle of water today.
Me: Why would you chug it?
12: *shrugs*
Me: Didn’t that make you want to throw up? (makes me feel all sloshy and nauseated – I hate water…unless it’s carbonated and is actually Diet Coke)
12: No! It was cool! It was weird though, I felt so full, like I had eaten something.
Me: *driving, tuned out*
12: Uh, um, so if drinking water makes you feel full, people with food problems should just chug water. then they wouldn’t be hungry.
Me: Yeah, great idea. *rolling eyes*
12: What??
Me: *sighs* Never mind.

Can you imagine if it were that simple?? Drink water, not be hungry, lose weight?? MAGIC! *snorts* Can’t tell him that people don’t just eat when they’re hungry, especially women. We eat when we’re bored. We eat when we’re sad. We eat when we’re happy. We eat to celebrate and to commiserate! We eat (like we shop) recreationally! Hunger sometimes has very little to do with the eating!

Anyway, I’m not going to clue him in on women’s ideosynCRAZIES. He’ll find out on his own.

Water? *scoffs*  Bring me some Chinese herbs and a tapeworm and then we’ll talk.

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