What kind of day it? Can you guess?

It’s a F*ck Me Day!  Yeah! *throws confetti* and *growls*

Had a lovely Mother’s Day. Got up late…got fun pressies from Lush (enjoyed the visual of the Frug shopping at Lush), made my own breakfast (c’mon, who really wants the shitastic food that the Frug and kids would make? Huh?? Huh? Not I), went to the gym (b/c I wanted to, not b/c the Frug was giving me the “Cow, get to the gym” look), a little recreational shopping (browsing only as I am 1 AmEx bill away from being thrown in the dungeon), and then out for crabs! (how much fun is getting crabs (to EAT, people!)?? Smashing their shells violently, ripping their claws off…So savage!)

Anyway, a nice day like that could only be followed by a craptastic one and, so far, this one has not disappointed. We all slept a little late and that just throws the whole morning off, kwim?  12 was really late (probably making sure his coif was “genius” *rolls eyes*)…finally got out to the car and proceeded to smash his nose/mouth into the car door frame thingy. Who does that?? Jeez. I’m, of course, so sympathetic #sarcasm. And then he SLAMS the door extremely hard and the argument ensues…b/c in his eyes, he did not slam it and I am crazy and why does it matter…on and on. *dramatic sigh*  We arrive at school…he gets out of the car…and slams his head into the door frame…and then reaches back in the car for his backpack and slams his head again. WHAT THE HELL?? What is WRONG with him?? Actually, I know what it is…the poor beast is growing so quickly that he has no idea of where his body is in space. But, still!!!  I’m a terrific mom who finds her child’s pain extremely irritating.

Come home to deal with 9 and his morning RITUALS. *waves a fond hello to OCD*  Get him to school after a last minute “Need to go poop!!” that almost made him late!

Back home to find Otis in a pathetic heap of blackness. Lots of grass eating in the last day or so. The thing that bugs me is that he seems to be choosy about the grass. As if he’s doing quality control or something? Only certain blades of grass are worthy to be eaten and then horked up later, kwim?? So, this morning has been a blur of black beast in and out of the house to eat grass and hurl…interspersed with him throwing himself to the floor dramatically and sighing.  For extra fun, he decided to come in, go upstairs and throw up grass in 9’s room (2 piles! yahoo!) and then once more on the bed in the computer room! Cool, I wanted to wash that duvet anyway. #sarcasm

And, the great news is that it’s 11:30am! Woot! It can only go uphill from here, right?????? #deluded


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