Archive | August 2011

See Kate Hudson’s Amazing Post-Baby Bikini Body! – UsMagazine.com

 

 

 

 

7 weeks post baby?  Not too shabby, Kate! I think she looks good-ish. Very “real” with some thick thighs con queso. What?? I’m not being mean.  The cheese is there!  And it should be, right?!

This is reason 18340 that I’m glad I’m not a celebrity. Can you imagine being in a white bikini 7 weeks postpartum and having bitches like me critiquing you?! lol

See Kate Hudson’s Amazing Post-Baby Bikini Body! – UsMagazine.com.

This entry was posted on August 31, 2011, in Uncategorized. Leave a comment

More Frugaganda

Poor Frug, he’s feeling very “under attack” today here at kellysuperficial!  I told him I love him dearly but he is just pure Blog Fodder sometimes!

Case in point…here’s an article he said me about the evils of fried foods. (side note:  I’m worried that I may actually injure myself with the epic eye rolling I’m doing today) I was able to copy a key chart…see below (stupid WordPress is not letting me type below the )@$* chart)…

So, let’s note that my favorite VEGETABLE french fries are the number cause of weight gain. Why why why?? It’s a potato. A lovely and lowly tuber that, deep fried and heavily salted, is truly a food of the Gods.  You can take the girl outta Ireland but you can’t take the Ireland outta the girl. Am I right or am I right?? Harrumph. Am wondering WHY he sent this to me. A passive aggressive way of saying “Hey, lay off the fries, bitch?” Or just Blog Fodder?  *taps chin*

This entry was posted on August 27, 2011, in Uncategorized. Leave a comment

Earthquakes and Hurricanes and Cleaning, FML!

It’s me, reporting from the Disaster Zone of the Day…seriously, Mother Nature? An earthquake and then later in the week a freaking hurricane?? Give a bitch a break!

So, my East Coast Superficialistas, are you all “hunkered down“? I personally am NOT. I refuse to “hunker” whatever the heck that even means. Ogres hunker. Large carnie type people hunker. Dainty, delicate creatures like myself are “prepared” (someone come up with a fun word for me please!)…

How prepared? I didn’t run out to get TP and water. Eff that. I got a 12 pack of Diet Coke, a twin pack of Sutter Home Pink Juice, a fresh bottle of Skinnygirl Margaritas, and chips and salsa. There! All ready for the Hurricapacalypse!

Guess what the Frug is doing? Organizing! Yes, it’s important for everything to be neat and tidy for when the EMTs drag our carcasses out of here. *rolls eyes*…“Hey, Cow!  Now would be a great time for you to go thru your Hoarder Boxes!” *scowls*  I did promise him I would go thru ONE box.  

Oh, do you not know what a Hoarder Box is? (see also: Hoarder Bags)  It’s a container that you throw all kinds of misc. crap into in an effort to make it appear like you’ve cleaned. Like how I use closets and under the bed areas but these are portable!  You can pile hoarder bags and hoarder boxes anywhere you need to and then move them when you’re ordered to clean them out!

The one I’ve promised to go thru and “organize” the crap inside? I truly have no idea what I may find in there. Could be just about anything. *sighs*

Oh, another thing that he hit me with?? An email inviting me to “Chore Wars“!  OMFG. Check it out — http://www.chorewars.com/ I have refused (childishly) to click on the link but he has strong-armed the children into joining. Apparently it’s like a game and you get points for doing chores! Yahoo! *violently rolls eyes*…this is kind of like his “Being Frugal Can Be Fun” f*ckery.

Sweet Baby Jesus, please help me get thru this without causing bodily harm to someone I love…

This entry was posted on August 27, 2011, in Uncategorized. Leave a comment

Baby Brahim Is Just Checking

 

Okay, can we just say “eeuuuwww” to Madonna’s boy toy playing with his junk RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER DAUGHTER?!  Inappropriate!!!  Speaking of inappropriate — nice rack, Lourdes!  WOW.

 

OMG, MichaelK. Below he calls Madonna “Vampire Cougar” (say it in that guy’s “honey badger don’t give a SHIT” voice) — You didnt think a vampire cougar could openly laugh at the sun like that. That vampire cougar don’tcare. 

The sea creatures of the South of France got a taste of piss from one of Madges babies yesterday when they just couldnt hold it and had to make a pee in the Mediterranean Sea SPOILER ALERT: It wasnt Rocco, Mercy, Lourdes or David. At least I think Baby Brahim is trying to pinch his pee pee hole in that picture above. Or maybe hes checking to make sure that Madges vadge only swallowed one huevo during the youth sucking ceremony from the night before. Probably the latter.Madge took her entire family of BABIES!!! to Eden Roc yesterday and watched as they frolicked in the sea in their bathing suits while she was pretty much covered from the neck down. You can laugh all you want at how Madge is covering up her carcass the same way a fat kid covers up his titties during P.E. pool hour, but she is a damn genius.You didnt think a vampire cougar could openly laugh at the sun like that. That vampire cougar dont care. The hardened mask of creamed fetuses over her face and that weird bathing outfit is making the sun her bitch. Try her, Antonia Gavilán de Logroño! Try her! I swear, Vampire Beehl could learn a thing or twenty from this bitch.

via Baby Brahim Is Just Checking.

This entry was posted on August 27, 2011, in Uncategorized. Leave a comment