Today’s I-Went-To-Italy-and-Won’t-STFU-About-It post is about my skin color! It’s August 1st and I am way too tan for me already. Ohsoclose to Sea Hag color, kwim? 2 beach trips, pool time, more sun time in Italy…Mama needs a rainy day! (yes, I am still wearing SPF 50 but you still get color with that)
Anyway, the cab driver who took us to the train station in Lecce (the Florence of the South apparently) was a stitch. A tough old Italian nonna. She picked up my 50 lb suitcase like it was a feather! Anyway, close to zero English…and my “Italian” is limited to “where is the bathroom” and “uno prosecco per favore” 😉 She didn’t care…she gestured and said things and we worked it all out.
She asked us if we were Americans and we said SI and she cackled and did a “drinky drinky” hand gesture and said “AMERICANO” and laughed in what could be called an American way (aka loud and obnoxious) 😉
Then, she was asking us if we were Italian at all and we aren’t. Then she pokes at the Frug’s skin and says “bronzado” which I assume means “tan”…and then looks back at me and says “mozzarella“! I am like “Hey! I am NOT mozzarella!” She looks at 9 and says “mozzarella” at him – which is true. Then for 12, she said “va bene” which means “fine” or “okay” or something. (12 is so tan now he looks dirty)…
Anyway, I stewed til we got to the train station. I showed her a tan line (which is impressive! lol) and I said “bronzado” and she did a “pfft“, waved her paw at me dismissively and said “mozzarella“! *stomps foot* I AM NOT MOZZARELLA!
Tanorexia never dies.