Earthquakes and Hurricanes and Cleaning, FML!

It’s me, reporting from the Disaster Zone of the Day…seriously, Mother Nature? An earthquake and then later in the week a freaking hurricane?? Give a bitch a break!

So, my East Coast Superficialistas, are you all “hunkered down“? I personally am NOT. I refuse to “hunker” whatever the heck that even means. Ogres hunker. Large carnie type people hunker. Dainty, delicate creatures like myself are “prepared” (someone come up with a fun word for me please!)…

How prepared? I didn’t run out to get TP and water. Eff that. I got a 12 pack of Diet Coke, a twin pack of Sutter Home Pink Juice, a fresh bottle of Skinnygirl Margaritas, and chips and salsa. There! All ready for the Hurricapacalypse!

Guess what the Frug is doing? Organizing! Yes, it’s important for everything to be neat and tidy for when the EMTs drag our carcasses out of here. *rolls eyes*…“Hey, Cow!  Now would be a great time for you to go thru your Hoarder Boxes!” *scowls*  I did promise him I would go thru ONE box.  

Oh, do you not know what a Hoarder Box is? (see also: Hoarder Bags)  It’s a container that you throw all kinds of misc. crap into in an effort to make it appear like you’ve cleaned. Like how I use closets and under the bed areas but these are portable!  You can pile hoarder bags and hoarder boxes anywhere you need to and then move them when you’re ordered to clean them out!

The one I’ve promised to go thru and “organize” the crap inside? I truly have no idea what I may find in there. Could be just about anything. *sighs*

Oh, another thing that he hit me with?? An email inviting me to “Chore Wars“!  OMFG. Check it out — I have refused (childishly) to click on the link but he has strong-armed the children into joining. Apparently it’s like a game and you get points for doing chores! Yahoo! *violently rolls eyes*…this is kind of like his “Being Frugal Can Be Fun” f*ckery.

Sweet Baby Jesus, please help me get thru this without causing bodily harm to someone I love…


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