Inventions I Need Invented ASAP

1. Alarm clock that obeys voice commands like: “5 more minutes” and “Turn the volume DOWN” and “STFU“
2. A monosyllabic autoresponder for my spouse’s early morning queries. Simple yes/no options. Optional “hiss” or “growl“.
3. One piece “outfit” I can stumble into to drive kids to school. Almost like an adult onesie. Apparently, my driving-in-jammies thing is a little WT and quite embarrassing for others.
4. And finally, “sleeve dickeys”…I have those 2 cute Missoni sleeveless sweater dresses and my friend Kim asked what I would wear under them. Hmm. Under?? Can’t wear anything under them b/c of the bulk issue, kwim?  But I can see that sleeveless is going to be a chilly option in a few weeks, kwim?  Do you remember “dickies”?  The fake turtlenecks??  So creepy and weird. We had to wear them for cheerleading back in the day.  I can still feel their itchy acrylicness. *shudders*  But, what about sleeve dickies?  Like sleeves that you could snap on or velcro on (in a very seamless and fashionable way, of course)??

Go!  Make it so!