OMG, so shocked! And Sarcastic.

So, excuse me for being LTP (late to the party) on yesterday’s BIG SHOCKING ANNOUNCEMENTS. *rolls eyes* Halloween snuck up on me and guess what I was doing at 4pm on Oct. 31? Trying to find a @(&$_(@%&@% pumpkin. Usually this is an opportunity for Family Fun Time. Not this year. Too much “stuff” got in the way of it and Mama was alone, literally driving for miles in search of the Great Pumpkin. No one else probably cared but if there was a Halloween Fail it was NOT going to be my fault, kwim??!  So, thanks to my shopping skills (and too much time on my hands apparently) and the Frug’s creativity and mad carving skills, I present to you the Superficial Family Pumpkin:

Side note…guess how many jack-o-lanterns were carved by my parents when I was growing up?? Go ahead, guess! ZERO. I think they were just over it by the time I came around. First time I tried to carve one was when I lived with the Tinas and KPR. And KPR and I thought we could make pumpkin pie with the stringy crap on the inside!  Who knew the pumpkin for pumpkin pie was the inside of the rind??  YUCK. lol

Anyway.

Okay, and now the important announcements. A big round of applause and a “DUH” and “What took you so long?” and “Hey, fugly mummy costume!” to Jessica Simpson. Thanks for FINALLY announcing the worst kept secret in Hollywood. Now please to be wearing some amazingly slutty maternity outfits. You know she will. Is it just me or can you totally see her doing Playboy pregnant or something?? With those chichis and her famewhoreyness, anything is possible, right?

Guess You Didnt Get That 500,000…...

And the other announement from the other Big Ass (literally) Famewhore, Kim Kardashian. A divorce filing 72 days after that obnoxious disgusting display of a wedding. Color everyone shocked, right? What the hell? Why do these idiots even get married? Can’t you sell pix to the magazines without getting married?? Why bother?? Is the entire family “in on it“?  The husband doesn’t seem too bright. I wonder if he realized it was just a big sham? The thing that’s irking me, well, ONE of the things…there were how many people at that wedding? Were the grandparents there?  Were they in on the f*ckery that was going on??? Maybe they got $$ too??   Can you imagine someone’s 80 year old grandma being part of the charade??? I’m trying to imagine telling my parents — “Hey Mom and Dad!  I have this terrific idea! I’m going to marry this clown to get lots of money and fame!”  *commence beatdown*

How much $$ do these people need??? Do the people who actually WATCHED this repulsive display on TV get compensated for their time? For the loss of brain matter??

UGH.

This makes me feel dirty just writing about it. I used to just use the term “famewhore” sort of casually. But, when you think about it, she married for MONEY. That’s being an actual WHORE. *shakes head in utter disgust*

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