A Mom Version of Santa Baby

Please go read the whole post from “Let Me Start By Saying…” because this woman is HILARIOUS. We may be sistahs from another mistah or some other badass saying…

So, here’s her new version of an annoying Christmas song:

SANTA BABY: THE MOM VERSION

Santa Baby,
Slip some patience under the tree
For me.
I’ve been a Mommy all year.
Santa Baby, please hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa baby,
I’d like to be alone in the loo
To poo.
If it’s not too much to ask.
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Think of all
The butts I’ve wiped.
Think of all my youth & beauty
That they’ve swiped.
Next year I could be just as sweet
If I had nice nails and well-rubbed feet. 

Santa Baby,
I want a nap and for my kid to
Shut her yap.
She talks my ear off all year.
Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa honey,
There’s something that I really do crave:
A Mom Cave.
With a soundproofed locked door.
Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa cutie,
Fill my stocking with boobs that don’t sag,
Or drag.
I’d like them up where they were.
Santa cutie, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Come and trim my Christmas tree
With a bit of free time and some…sanity.
I swear I do believe in you
Lets see if you believe in me. 

Santa Baby,
Forgot to mention one little thing:
Some bling.
All Moms deserve to sparkle.
Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Hurry down the chimney tonight

Hurry…tonight 

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4 thoughts on “A Mom Version of Santa Baby

  1. Hi Kelly,
    Thanks so much for wanting to share my piece here on your blog!
    Please next time just give me a heads-up? Everything is copywrited, so it’s good to make sure the author is cool with this sort of thing. 😉
    Thanks! And I hope you get everything on your wish list, too…

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