Top Christmas Fails

Wow, it’s OVER. All that planning and slaving and cooking and shopping and traveling…OVAH! Thank God. One of the most hectic and sort of awful Christmases EVER. I shouldn’t say “awful“…it was fine. Not magical or spiritual or anything really. Just meh. Glad it’s over. (saying all that makes me so sad b/c I used to be the Spirit of Christmas *sighs*)

So, in no particular order, here are my Christmas Fails:

  • This isn’t my personal fail but…no Christmas Garden this year. The Frug usually sets up an elaborate train set in the basement for the month of December. Have you heard of a Christmas Garden?  I think it’s a German/PA/Baltimore thing?? Anyway, it’s super cool and the Frug and the kids always love setting it up and “playing trains”…not this year. Just didn’t happen. *sniffles*
  • A corollary to the Christmas Garden one…we usually go downtown to Union Station during December to check out the Norwegian festival and train display.  Always puts me in the holiday spirit. Not this year. *grumbles*
  • Left an entire basket of sugar-free cookies and candies (gift for my aunt) at home. All set-up, looking pretty. Didn’t load it in the car. Now have to ship it and I know that it’s not going to survive the journey. Here’s your basket o’crushed crap. Enjoy! Fail.
  • Didn’t map out the boys’ haircut schedule properly. They were both a little wooly looking by the time we got up to PA to see my family. I hate when their hair gets too overgrown. It’s never long b/c a) I hate long-haired boys and b) neither of them have hair that would look good grown out. *sighs*  Both had that “thick around the ears” thing. *shudders* Hate that!  TG my dad’s not around to see it. lol
  • Forgot to think about the kids’ outfits for Christmas Eve Mass. When they were little (and I was younger and more focused and energetic), the kids always had adorable and MATCHING outfits. Now, I’m scattered and tired and they refuse to wear even coordinating clothing. “OMG MOM!!” Scrambled to spruce them up on Christmas Eve. 10 had a cute shirt/sweater vest combo he wore to Aunt Suzie’s Christmas party but Sarcasmo? *sighs* He is just so damn DIFFICULT about clothes. OMG MOM!! We’ve been getting by with jeans and cool-boy plaid shirts…but, I realized on 12/24, jeans don’t cut it for church. He ended up wearing casual gray chino-type pants, his school shoes (giant black dress shoes) and a plaid shirt. And an attitude. The Frug confirmed “He looks homeless.
  • Wrapping paper. I probably used to put too much thought into the wrapping paper situation. For us, I had one paper for the Frug’s presents and then 2 for each of the kids. One kind was for their Santa gifts and the other was for the gifts from us. I also used different paper for each person -aunts, MIL, cousins- very festive AND made it easier to separate the gifts. This year? Gifts for people outside this house all got the same paper. I made sure to use gift tags but I still bit my nails when people were opening! haha  And my kids? They still had different wrapping paper but I didn’t differentiate “Santa gifts” from “Mom and Dad” gifts. I did have a reason though. 10 still sort of believes in Santa and I cannot bring myself to just tell him, kwim? I can’t say those words out loud. Silly, I know. I’m hoping he saw the paper and thought “Maybe all of these are from Mom and Dad” and not “Those bastards didn’t buy me anything!
  • Watched ZERO Christmas shows/movies. No Christmas Vacation, no A Christmas Story, no Love, Actually, no Snoopy, no NOTHING. Why does this sadden me so??  In previous years, I even made a point to watch all the Countdown to Christmas programming on ABC Family channel every night. *sighs*
  • On the drive home from PA (the trip is going to be a huge post – just a warning!), I had a blazing headache…stopped at a gas station and bought Advil. About 20 minutes later, I was just ready to drop. So tired. Almost hallucinating. Luckily we were stopping anyway to see the Frug’s mom. After a DC and some caffeine gum, I felt better. I was worried I was going to have a stroke or something!  The next morning, the Frug said “did you realize that you took Advil PM?” Um NO!  I have never taken that in my life. Sure enough, the box said Advil PM. FML. I just grabbed the box that said Advil and took ’em. That could have been a dangerous fail since I’m the DRIVER!  Yikes!
  • Biggest FAIL of all…on 12/28, we got to the home where my MIL lives…this was our last stop of the Christmas season…the Frug asks “So, where’s the present for my mom?” Me: *blank stare* It was on the list of things to do. I left it for the end because I knew we’d see her last. The only problem was, due to the “scene” in PA, I never got to the store. No gift for the Frug’s mom. Feel sick about it. He had a sweet card for her and she didn’t notice or care that I am the Worst Daughter-in-Law EVER. But still.  Awful. Yes, he could have gotten her something but that’s not his “job”, it’s mine. And I failed. *dramatic sigh*

Sooo, you all must be feeling better about yourselves about now. You’re Welcome. *scowls*

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This entry was posted on January 3, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments

2 thoughts on “Top Christmas Fails

  1. Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. The problem is that you did too much before and now you can’t achieve the standards you’ve set for yourself. Then there’s me… I have been a Christmas slacker for years and it’s not such a fall from grace for me when I a) don’t watch Rudolph, b) give the kids money in a card, c) decide not to hang “certain” decorations that the hubs loves (i.e. tacky shit), and d) don’t go to church. Yes, I skipped out on Christmas Eve mass (first time EVER). Yes, I felt like I couldn’t leave my poor, handicapped, elderly father alone (I may have milked that one a bit… don’t judge me!)

    Please learn to simplify Super K, your sanity will thank you.

    PS – If you get the kids to church and their privates are covered that’s success!!!

    • You’re right, you’re right. THe thing that truly pisses me off is that they’ll have no memory of the good old days when mom was on the ball. THey’ll just remember when mom took advil PM and almost killed them all, kwim?

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