Ridiculousness at a Mammogram

Annual mammo day. Scheduled it last week and have been silently freaking out since. I think it’s pretty apparent that I’m a little bit of a hypochondriac. Ahem. Was hesitant to make any plans for Fri b/c, obviously, I could be recovering from my emergency cancer surgery. Right?!

Anyway, went in like a Brave Person. All the bravado goes away when you’re forced to strip and don the Gown of Humiliation. “Ties in Front“…aka let’s play a little game of Hello Boobie!  Or Pop Goes the Boobie!  FML. Another awful part of the process is the “no deodorant” rule. If anyone needs deodorant it’s the poor ladies sitting around waiting for their boobs to be smashed between 2 plates of plexiglass.  Am I right?!!

Get called back by a lovely older nurse. Very sweet. I put on the lead apron, boy does that make you feel confident about the jolt o’radiation you’re about to get, and shimmy off the top of the gown. The next part killed me. I am still giggling. She walked over to me with a sheet of something…she peeled off a sticker of some sort and stuck it on my NIPPLE. Just the tip of the nipple. I’m like “oookkkaaaayy, this is new” and she said “Oh, I do this for all my patients.”  She put little pasties on my nipples!!  Has ANYONE heard of this before??!

I’ve gotta say, it changed the mood in the room. I had been very tense prior to the application of the pasties. After? A giggling mess. Actually, I was holding in the giggles, so it was more of a pre-hysteria thing.  I mean, LOOK AT THIS THING! (mine actually had what appeared to be a teeny pearl in the center!)

Did some research. Apparently, they weren’t just decorative!  They are called V Spots (they also have N Spots)…basically they are nipple markers!  It helps the radiologist identify where the nipple is on the mammogram!

I wore mine all day. Sort of like an “I Voted” sticker but more secretive and way prettier.

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This entry was posted on January 19, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments

2 thoughts on “Ridiculousness at a Mammogram

  1. “sort of like an I Voted sticker”……..friggin hilarious, girlie !!
    and btw…we dont get those groovy stickers up here in ‘Nap Town…damn !

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