Truths

Good morning!! Am still wrung out after that stupid mammogram. I *know* I’ll have to go back in for “more images” due to my uber-sexy “dense and fibrous” breasts. Nothing sexier than dense and fibrous breasts. *snorts*

Anyway.

Been watching all the celebrities hook-up, break-up and procreate. That’s all they do! Whores! lol But, there’s so much that’s a facade, so much that’s just for publicity. What is the TRUTH?!?! Some things are just TRUE and you know it. When you’ve heard the rumors forever, you just KNOW they are true. Like that John Mayer likes to pee on women. Look at him:

Yeah, I'm a dirty boy. I WILL pee on you.

You just know it’s true. (there are also rumors that there’s feces involved too. EEK!  That part I do NOT want to know about.) I don’t like the thoughts of Jennifer Aniston getting peed on but somehow Jessica Simpson getting peed on was okay. *cackles*

Then there’s the gossip that you know is TRUE because there’s no denial at all. Like the Jets coach and his foot fetish. I happen to LOVE this bit of gossip. The greatest part of this mini-scandal is that they’re in it together. She stars in his kinky foot fetish videos and he films them!  WIN! *dying laughing* I cannot look at the man without thinking “Foot Freak!” *giggles*  But, seriously, love it. He likes feet, she likes to show her feet. It’s a winner of a situation really.

Oh yeah baby! Show me your feet!

There are also those rumors that are just mean and I don’t care if they’re true or not. Like the “Is Khloe a Kardashian or not?” rumor”.  Honestly, I do NOT care about her or her mom possibly being a cheating whore. It’s really mean-spirited too. I like my gossip to be funny and dirty, not mean, kwim?!

There are also rumors that you don’t want to be true. Like Johnny Depp splitting up with his lover (ick, hate that word!) of 14 years, Vanessa Paradis. After 14 years and 2 kids?  Say it ain’t so!!

Now, the last one for today is gossip that just seems true. I don’t know it’s true but it sure could be. The latest rumor is that Bruce Jenner is a cross-dresser. LOVE IT!  I can totally see this one. Look at him:

Yes, I'm wearing red silk panties. Whatever.

LOOK AT HIM. He’s wearing diamond ear studs, has overly waxed eyebrows, and pale pink lipstick. He actually looks like an unattractive woman dressed as a man in that pic! I can totally believe he likes to wear women’s clothing. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Not hurting anyone, right?? Hmm. I wonder if he borrows Khloe’s clothes? Meow.

Happy Friday!

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