State of the Grooming — Update

Yes, I know all of you have been waiting with bated breath to learn of my progress since the State of the Grooming post. *giggles*  Improvements (?) have been made. Highlights/lowlights/gray coverage — done. Very pleased. Haircut. *sighs* JUST A TRIM. Just a @$(@** TRIM. Is that so hard??? I am back to a Carol Brady ‘do after spending months growing my hair out. “And please don’t cut the sides too short b/c it makes my face look like a fat MOON“. She apparently hears “please cut those sides super short!”  IDK. It’ll grow out. Someday.

On a happy note, I went to a “different” kind of spa! I haven’t had a massage or anything (I know, woe is me!) in eons. It’s winter. I’m dry and scaly. I’ve survived Christmas. It’s almost my birthday. I deserve a little spa, right??? Haven’t told the Frug yet — oops!…Hey, Frugalicious, guess what? I went to a Korean Spa!

It is NOT fancy. Not fancy at all. It is hardcore.

It’s called Hanijoa which I’m pretty sure means NAKED NAKED NAKED in Korean. lol and yet not kidding. As I said, it’s not fancy. *whispers* They don’t even have a website! *gasps* I found it on Yelp and the reviews were insightful and hilarious.

So, here we go. I walked in (actually, it’s “Women Only” so I was let in by my technician (sort of like a bouncer who keeps any men out!). She gave me a key and robe and showed me where my locker was. Now, this was not a locker room per se. It was a small hallway in what is basically their lobby! But, I was prepared by the Yelp reviews and stripped accordingly. She led me to the “spa” room. I walked in, glanced to my left and saw 3 massage tables…and 2 bare naked asses!  AAHH! lol Yes, it’s a communal treatment room. Dorothy, you are NOT at Elizabeth Arden anymore.  I was told (well, she didn’t speak much English so she gestured) to take a shower. 3 shower heads and a well-used bar of what appeared to be Irish Spring. Hmm. I have no shame so I lathered up, no problemo. Then it was steam room time. She gave me a bottle of water and a towel to sit on. Very small steam room.  And I was joined by some other naked, and large, and shameless people. Why would you turn around and bend over NAKED when you are thisclose to other people?? EEP!  I probably should have stayed in the steam room longer but all that super close nudity was a bit much, even for me. Oh, and the towel was the size of a washcloth so you couldn’t cover your naughty bits even if you wanted to. lol

Next up was the exfoliation. Have you ever had a body scrub at a spa before? I’ve tried them and have always been disappointed. It’s pricey and over too quickly and the results (b/c you do feel smooth immediately after) do not last past your first shower. Not worth it usually. The reviewers on Yelp RAVED about the exfoliation and that made my choice to do it pretty easy. Let’s just say I’m sort of surprised to have any skin left at all!  I went over and joined the 2 other naked asses. Face down on a table. Oh, and btw, the technicians are semi-nude. They are wearing bras/undies. Weird, I know. It sort of makes sense b/c they are soaking wet due to all the water splashing all over. Maybe bathing suirts would be less strange?? The one next to me had some sort of mesh undies on. Pretty. lol. ANYWAY.  They use some sort of scrub product and 2 loofah gloves. She started at my toes and painstakingly slowly moved up my body. The Yelp folks made it sound like the um, center part of my body would be exfoliated, and you know me, I wouldn’t mind…sadly NO. That small patch was ignored. *pouts* So, she did front, left side, right side, back…and then did it all over again. One reviewer said her fake tan was scrubbed completely off. (Hello? Who gets a scrub AFTER spray tanning??)  Then it was shower time again. Have to say, the hot water stung my brand new pink skin!

Massage followed. It was rough, just like I like it. I’m not sure if it’s accupressure or deep tissue but WOW. At times, it was quite painful. And so good. Again, she started at the toes and worked up and then flipped me over and did it all over again. OMG. I think she was just using baby oil but who cares? By the end, I was a puddle of exfoliated goo. *purrs*

Finale? She shampooed and conditioned my hair and gave me the mother of all head massages. *purrs*

One last shower. And then it was over.

There was a “dry heat” resting area with little mats to snooze on but I didn’t go in. My treatments had lasted TWO HOURS!!! Amazing. Best part? The price. $90. (stop screaming, Frug. That is an incredible price for the services I got!) And, It’s been over a week and my skin is still soft. No dry flaky ashy skin. Still. Love, love, LOVE!!!!

This is not for my “fancy” friends. It is not for the shy. It is not for those with sensitive skin. It is for ME ME ME!! *twirls*  I want to go back NOW! (calm down, Fruggy. I’m not going to!) I do think it would make sense to go before I get a spray tan though…again, calm down, husband mine. I am not getting a fake tan til right before Spring Break. *mini shrieks* April!!!

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