Let’s Review, Shall We?

Spring has sprung here in DC. Thank GOD! I despise winter and all it’s hellishness. Cold, wet, dreary, dried out skin, “eating season“, etc. Hola Spring! I’ve missed you!

There are issues with spring though. Warm weather brings with it the need to uncover. To “bare“…We’ve all been hiding out wearing layers, letting our fur grow out for warmth, eating like we’re Jessica Simpson. You know.  Last weekend, I realized that people might need a refresher course on What Not to Wear. Or What To Do Before You Wear…  It’s quickly become Show Your Toes Season and, quite frankly, many of you are NOT READY.

Not saying you need to go spend the $$ for a pedi. I am frugal, after all. *waves to the Frug* Just take a good close look at those feet. Make sure they are CLEAN. Cut your damn toenails. Clean the nasty shit out from underneath the nails. Check your dry, cracked heels and put some lotion on ’em. I like to put a quick coat of cuticle oil on my toenails to help out the cuticles AND give a nice sheen to them! (to distract the eye, kwim?!)  Oh, and don’t forget to shave your toe-knuckles. Yes, you have hair there. Look closely. See? Shave that OFF!

Now, shoes. Ladies, PLEASE wear the correct size shoe! So many women are wearing shoes that are too small. Feet can change size over time. Weight gain, pregnancy, having a job that requires you to be on your feet for long periods of time. It’s okay. No one will judge you if you go from a size 8 shoe to an 8.5 or a 9.  It gives me physical pain when I see someone in flip flops with a good half inch of heel hanging off the back. Or shoes that are a tad too narrow so the pinky toes hang off the sides. I have wide feet (I am a Flintstone in torso-to-leg-length ratio and in fat footedness) so I’m very sensitive to this particular problem.  If you love a pair of shoes but your pinky toes are hanging off the sides? Just walk away. You can do it!

Men? Keep ’em covered. For the love of God…cover your damn toes. *gags* Feet are gross in general. Man feet?? *shrieks* Don’t get me started. Maybe if you’re extremely well groomed. Maybe. *shudders*  Okay, you can wear Keens. That’s as far as I’ll go.

I wrote a little piece back in ’09  (I say that as “aught 9” in my head b/c it makes me sound like an old fogey lol)…it was in the early days of this blog…I still stand behind every word!  Go read “Annoying Summer Peeves” as a companion piece to this one!

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