*waves* I’m BACK!

Anyone miss me?  Even notice that I was gone?!?! *glares*

We were in the beautiful Dominican Republic last week. Land of powdery white sand, clear waters…and all-you-can-eat buffets and free flowing booze. *oinks*

Have several thoughts I’m trying to get out onto this virtual paper. I’ll start with a physics issue. What’s the deal with “Objects in motion tend to stay in motion“?  And why is there no grooming corollary?  Like “Things that are groomed tend to STAY groomed“???

WHY NOT?

I set off on our DR adventure groomed to perfection. Well, as perfect as an Old Whore can be I s’pose. Freshly done roots/highlights, mani/pedi, full body wax dip…

By Tuesday, thanks to the magnifying mirror so graciously provided by the hotel, I could see delightful little yellow specks on my chin. Yes, the chin hairs were back in less than one week. Rabid, fast growing cockroaches. The hair down south was also doing a lovely Tuesday o’clock shadow. WTF?! I am the hairiest woman alive. And I still have a nice abundance of female hormones. What the hell am I going to look like when menopause strikes and I’m basically a man?!?! *shudders*

Now for a nice visual…the @)$*$@ hair on my head. Went lighter because a) it’s spring b) the sun was going to lighten it anyway and c) why the heck not? So, after spending $$$ on the roots and highlights, I present my hairline, 10 days later:

And don’t try to BS me with the “Oh, the grey looks like light blonde” because IT DOES NOT. It’s grey. Or even white. *shudders* Only 10 days later??!!!!! How am I supposed to keep up with that?!  The bright side is that I have hair and it grows like a weed. *rolls eyes*

Oh, and dig my freckles. *growls* And that’s with SPF 50! My dermo is going to shoot me! I know I’m supposed to wear a hat but they make me sweat so much. Thoughts on that?!

Feeling very depressed and “why bother?” about all of this. Damned if I do (right, Frug?) and damned if I don’t (right, Self Esteem?)…

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