Archive | May 2012

Jessica Simpson News – Jessica Simpson Joins Weight Watchers: See Her Body Evolution! (PHOTOS) – Celebuzz

This is going to be very, very interesting. Given how freaking ENORMOUS she got, I just can’t imagine WW being “enough“…and you know they’ll want it to be “miraculous“…and I think the only way for her to get that miracle is..well, hell, I have no idea. If I knew, I’d be doing it myself!

Jessica Simpson News – Jessica Simpson Joins Weight Watchers: See Her Body Evolution! (PHOTOS) – Celebuzz.

http://bcove.me/arc2bzg0

This entry was posted on May 30, 2012, in Uncategorized. 2 Comments

Shameful Confession

Okay, it’s Monday. It’s raining. I’m PMSing (jeez, it’s like constant these days. Eff you, Mother Nature!) Time for a very dirty, shameful confession.

My name is Kelly and I Like Diarrhea.

*crickets*

Anyone still there?

Now, I don’t like being sick.  Fever, chills, vomiting, and then the Big D? NO. Thank. You.  That’s too much. That’s terrible. Not to be too graphic (who me?) but the delicate balance of what to do first — if you get to choose, it’s ALWAYS vomit first, am I right? And where to do it…cause who wants to shit in a trash can. Am I right?

Whoa. Getting flashbacks to a trip to Mexico. Food poisoning. And the Frug had it too. *shudders*

*cleansing breaths*

Okay, where was I? Ah yes. Diarrhea. If it’s just from some questionable food or if perhaps I’ve forgotten AGAIN about my lactose intolerance, then it’s a simple spray, wipe and go.

I feel fab.

Cleansed.

Detoxed, if you will.

Stomach flat.

Win.

C’mon!  You’ know I’m right!

This entry was posted on May 21, 2012, in Uncategorized. 1 Comment

Took a “Half Kelly Day”…

…on Friday. A Full Kelly Day would have been begging karma to do rude things to me, kwim? So, after putting in my Good Mama time by driving a Fail Wagon-full of 8th graders to their Shakespeare Festival and sitting thru 2 other schools’ performances before watching their (30 MINUTE!) production…I hit the mall. *dreamy sighs*

Was really loving all the neon colors featured for spring/summer. Makes my 80s girl heart flutter! Day Glo FTW!!!  Now, neon is tough for me to pull off for a variety of reasons. First off? The hair color is a yellowish green to begin with which makes any bright yellow or green top a No Go.  Skin is a non-80s shade of potato so, again, yellow and green are not pretty on me! (so much yellow for spring *growls*)

Anyway, I ended up in the GAP and bought a cute pair of neon ombre shorts (they’re going back, Frug) and a cute tee shirt dress in a shocking shade of pink *squeals* and a tee shirt or 3. Purring happily as I checked out. I never speak to cashiers due to social issues but I since was in a happy place:

Me: *smilingAll these neon colors remind me of the 80s.

20 yr old Pseudo Hipster Dude: Not to make you feel old but…

Me: *narrows eyes b/c that is NOT a nice lead in*

PSD: It must have been so cool being in high school in the 80s

Me: *incredulous look*

Yes, high school in the 80s was like a 4 year Ferris Bueller’s Day Off mixed with other cute HS in the 80s movies. *rolls eyes hideously*

No real point to this post other than to share my pissyness that PHD ruined my buzz with his “not to make you feel old but…” thing. MFWTF?!?!

Welp, it was worth a try…

*sighs*

The Miracle Noodle folks also have a Miracle “Rice”… I love love love rice!  And since the noodles were a win, the rice was def. worth a try, right?

I decided to try a chicken fried rice recipe (the trusty Sun Bird Spicy Fried Rice packet). Here’s the “rice” after it was drained and rinsed (b/c of the stench! lol) and blanched in boiling water:Looks like cooked tapioca or white caviar. Hmm.

Here’s the finished dish:Looks fine, right?

Hmm.

The taste was fine. Tasted exactly like regular old chicken fried rice. The texture? Not so good. It was like chicken fried tapioca. Or chicken fried rubber pellets. Not horrible. Not disgusting. Yet somehow wrong. Reminded myself that it was ZERO CARBS!  ZERO CALORIES! kwim?!???

The upside is that I didn’t gorge myself senseless eating it. lol

So, yeah…probably not going to use the “rice” again. I bet I could use the miracle noodles for this though.

My New Happy Place

Over 7 million people have watched this video. I LOVE IT. The Harvard boys are adorable!!  This is apparently a “girl thing” because I got a Facebook comments that this was “gay” and “an insult to men” and “they need to turn in their Man Cards“…puh-lease!  They are so so so cute!! Chicks are digging them hard.

This may change my outlook on “Harvard Men”…the movie The Social Network convinced me that they’re all a bunch of entitled douches. Maybe they’re not!??  Maybe they’re cute athletes who dance in vans??

And, for the record, I would have LOVED the one dude who has sort of a mean face and yet winks at the camera. Probably a real dick and a player. Yup, would have LOVED him. haha