Shameful Confession

Okay, it’s Monday. It’s raining. I’m PMSing (jeez, it’s like constant these days. Eff you, Mother Nature!) Time for a very dirty, shameful confession.

My name is Kelly and I Like Diarrhea.

*crickets*

Anyone still there?

Now, I don’t like being sick.  Fever, chills, vomiting, and then the Big D? NO. Thank. You.  That’s too much. That’s terrible. Not to be too graphic (who me?) but the delicate balance of what to do first — if you get to choose, it’s ALWAYS vomit first, am I right? And where to do it…cause who wants to shit in a trash can. Am I right?

Whoa. Getting flashbacks to a trip to Mexico. Food poisoning. And the Frug had it too. *shudders*

*cleansing breaths*

Okay, where was I? Ah yes. Diarrhea. If it’s just from some questionable food or if perhaps I’ve forgotten AGAIN about my lactose intolerance, then it’s a simple spray, wipe and go.

I feel fab.

Cleansed.

Detoxed, if you will.

Stomach flat.

Win.

C’mon!  You’ know I’m right!

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This entry was posted on May 21, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment

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