Dearest Darling Dog,
I realize it’s raining. The grass is wet. You are a fragile house dog who doesn’t like getting his delicate paws wet. *snorts*
You seem to think the rain somehow gives you a pass to POOP ON THE DECK!!!
What the hell??!?!!!
You’re 105 lbs of hulking dog! You are a LABRADOR RETRIEVER!! ! A WATER DOG. Your ancestors worked alongside fisherman in the freezing waters off of Newfoundland!! You can’t get your paws wet??
“But MOM! The grass and water squish in between my paw pads and it squicks me out!”
Do NOT poop on the deck. That is an order.
That is all.