The Myth of “Sleeping In”

*sighs*

I loooovvvveeee sleep. I truly do. I used to sleep 12+ hours a night. *sings* Those were the days!

Now, on Saturday mornings, I am occasionally “allowed” to “sleep in”…harrumph. Today was a “sleep in” day. The Frug was up at 6:45am, as always. Coughing and hacking and spitting in the bathroom, various and horrifying bodily functions, stomping around the room, opening the blinds, making the bed with me still in it. Really. He then goes to the kitchen, apparently just to bang pots and pans and hurl glasses into the stainless steel sink. He is joined by 10, who bounced out of bed at 8am, singing, talking to himself, stomping around the house. *sighs*

I can hear the two of them chatting in their perky morning speak: “How’d you sleep, buddy?” “Hey Dad! Did you know that Oreck blah blah blah” On and on… After more banging and pointless chirpy conversation, 10 proceeds to put the TV on…to watch infomercials on HSN or QVC at 88 level volume. “DAD!!  You have to see this!!” *sighs* I then put a pillow over my head to attempt to drown out their selfish noisiness.

The pillow over the head guarantees that I will limit my breathing and then get a sinus headache. *sighs* FML.

Fiona knows I’m trying to sleep in so she goes into Needy Kitty mode. Head butting, kneading me with her overly long and sharp claws, loudly purring and meowing…escape is futile.

As we all know, Saturday is Bill Paying Day. My sleep in is interrupted by shouts of “COW! Did you remember to deposit that check?” Gee, since I’m currently dreaming I’m in Saint Tropez with Robert Pattinson…no, I don’t remember that. “COW?!?!” Stomping up the stairs to ask me financial questions.

Sigh.

It’s 9:23am and the “sleep in” *scoffs* is over.  He’d better not ask me how I slept or if I enjoyed sleeping in today. *growls*

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4 thoughts on “The Myth of “Sleeping In”

  1. Good God, does every husband have the same morning routine or what? Urgh, so gross!! My husband gets up at 5:30am…everyday…weekends included. He likes to lay a nice slobbery kiss on me too, with morning mouth. NASTY!! Most nights I go to bed at 10pm. Between 10pm and midnight the cats, who are outside, will start scratching the window screen to come inside. Son2 will pull into the garage around 1am with his loud POS of a car, stereo blasting. He will then play video games and bake (burn) a frozen pizza. At dawn (4am-ish), the cats will hop up on the window sill and start banging on the window to go back out. Then the alarm goes off at 5:30am…everyday…weekends included.

    1. The cats can’t seem to coordinate this behavior. They torture me separately. 2. My hubs also makes his side of the bed with me still in it. 3. My garage is on the other side of the wall my headboard butts up against. The garage door opening/closing sounds like a DC-10 taking off.

    FML

  2. Well…you just may get your wish….St Tropez with RPatz…..since KStew decided to cheat with her married director. Bet Rob doesnt hock loogies into the sink bright and early whllst we try to sleep !
    And yes….my hubby does same…hocks said loogies. Lovely.

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