The Joys of Travel, Superficial Style

God, I hate flying. In addition to the general fear of flying, it’s the Goat Rodeo that accompanies it. It’s lines, and waiting, more lines, and “where is your paperwork”, and take off your shoes and shuffle thru this new line… To make it all better *rolls eyes*, we’re on a Toddler and Baby flight to LA. So many sqeaky and squawky kids. Directly behind me is a 7 month old baby who requires nonstop bouncing…and naturally, he shit his diaper before we even took off. Can’t change him til we’re in the air. Fabulous. His brother is being spoken to in that nauseating singsong parent voice. “Okay, buddy, let’s find the giraffe in the picture! Very good! You are so smart!!” Kill. Me. Now.

Had our usual clusterfuck departing the house – shouts of “COW! Where’s the …?!” and “MOM!! Did you remember to pack my…?” and me shouting at all of them “STFU NOW!!!” … Checked in easily. Selfish and stubborn Sarcasmo refused to share a bag with 10. “OMG his stuff is all disgusting!” Yes, his clean and folded clothing is quite gross. *rolls eyes* They were asked to share a bag bc there’s a $25 charge per bag, each way. Not. Frugal. He’s opted to use a carry on. And now the rest of us have to deal with his overflow. But, the Frug can put $50 in the “Cost Savings” chart. (Yes, we have one of those…doesn’t everyone? *rolls eyes*)

Perhaps Sarcasmo is prescient. As we sat on the tarmac, the captain came on the loudspeaker to let us know there was a problem with the TSA bag screening. 55 bags that were checked will NOT be on this flight. FIFTY-FIVE!! If there are 147 people on board, the odds aren’t terrific for our bags…especially given our track record! Does everyone recall our 4 days sans bags in Italy last year? Scarred for life. Family Fun Time with the Superficials is NOT for sissies.

At this point, I don’t GAF. We’ll be in LA, not Timbuktu. And, for me, shopping for new clothes would NOT be a hardship. *grins*

UPDATE

One bag lost. MINE. FML.

Sent from my iPad

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