A New DefCon Level…

I was so so so pumped to travel to LA for a family wedding. Did my pre-departure grooming like a boss. Timed everything to perfection. Or so I thought. The morning of the wedding, I realized that I had reached…*cue ominous music*

DefCon — Sea Hag

Zero to Sea Hag in one week. ONE. It’s a record! *shrieks* I’d been planning and scheduling my grooming for our LA trip like it was my job. Perfectly thought out and executed. Or so I thought. *sighs*

Ladies, honestly…how does it happen so so so fast? I got a mani/pedi one week ago. A Shellac mani…it started PEELING the morning of the wedding. The Shellac is supposed to last up to THREE weeks!!! The hell?!?  The gorgeous hot pink pedi turned to a pale pink…a pale patchy pink. No time to even get a polish change! *cries* Actually, to be more honest, that idea was nixed before it even became a germ of an plan. A) During Family Fun Time, there is no Kelly Time EVAH and B) getting a polish change at the faboo Four Seasons Hotel would Not. Be. Frugal.

*sigh*

Side note — this particular Four Seasons had a world class spa. I had to walk by it. *whimpering*

What else? Wwwaaaaaayyyyyy too much sun. Red and freckled face (despite the SPF 50 sunblock). Hair that was freshly, and purrfectly, highlighted and lowlighted 9 days ago is now starting the slow decent into the land of Monochromatic Brassiness.

*melodramatic sighs* (Btw, Sarcasmo accused me of using a fake word. How can it be both “mellow” and “dramatic”??  *slaps*)

So, I did what I could to salvage my look for the wedding reception. I attempted to paint my own nails and toes. The horror. Silly, silly Kelly.  I ended up with clumpy toenail polish, complete with hot pink polished toe skin. Gorgeous. If I weren’t toephobic I’d post a picture of it.  The neutral nail polish went a tad better. But not by much.

*long and drawn out sighs*

OH, and did I mention that despite wanting to wear something Cali-cool and bright colored, I ended up wearing ANOTHER black dress!? I had it hemmed at an LA tailoring shop…sadly, didn’t have time to try it on when I picked it up. Discovered way too late that it was an “appropriate” length. *screams* APPROPRIATE!!! Do you know how much I despise appropriate??? I wanted to skate that fine line between slutty and skanky. Thankfully my behavior was not appropriate. *grins*

And, I’ve basically blown my grooming budget til 2013.

*falls in a heap*

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