6 Mud-Covered Gems From The Premiere Of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo

I will marry Michael K one of these days. Mark my words. His post about the premiere of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” is so full of sarcastic razor sharp wit…I bow down to his skill.

Disclaimer – I have not personally watched this show. I did see a tragic promo about it.  The little girl seems um, well, kind of special. She’s cute in a plump little girl way. But, she, sadly, seems sort of slow. And that makes the whole thing just sad to me.  Very exploitative.

That said, I’m still a mean enough person to mock the bejesus out of it.  Here’s a few DIRECT QUOTES from Mama June (yes, the whole family has uber-classy nicknames):

“There are some broke down people out there. Please, women, that are of voluptuous size, put some clothes on. All that vajiggle jaggle is not beautimous. You don’t see my shit hanging all out. My damn three bellies. There’s girls bigger than me and they’ve got them bikinis on that literally they eatin’ the bikini. Their body is just eatin’ it like SLURP!” – Mama June

Vajiggle jaggle? Eep. That image is now burned into my brain. Sweet Mother of Jiggling Vajayjays. *shudders*
And…this gem…*flails*

“It’s called a ‘biscuit’ cause it looks like a biscuit. Ya know, when it opens up and um…. You know, it does. It looks like a biscuit. If you look at a biscuit and if it’s cooked right, you know, like in, like a, like Hardee’s or something, you can…” – Mama June

And if you pull up to a Hardee’s every morning before work to order a biscuit, think of Mama June’s “biscuit” when you bite into that.

Visual please:

*takes surreptitious peek at my lady bits* Um, NO, IT DOESN’T!!!  *shrieks*

Please go check out DListed for his brilliance…

6 Mud-Covered Gems From The Premiere Of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.

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This entry was posted on August 9, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments

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