Sarcasmo Celebrated his 14th Anniversary of Breaking Me…

14 years ago. 10.5 lbs. 23 inches long. Out of my VAGINA. *crosses self*

Sunday was spent in a haze of sarcastic comments, grunting, mumbling, eye rolling, disgusted snorts…and rude comments.  Despite his emo-teen-ness, we tried valiantly to “make him happy” on his birthday. To no avail really. I’ve decided that the Frug and I are like the band geeks to his quarterback. The groupies to his rock star.

I was instructed not to wake the prince until 11am. He was to be served a bagel with scrambled eggs and bacon. Bagel lightly toasted. Bacon “chewy“…”not all burned like you usually make it“…orange juice with pulp.

Gifts. *sighs* Most were “pointless” and “stupid“…a few were unopened. As he does at Xmas, he opens an end of the wrapping paper, sees the contents, shakes his head and puts the package to the side. Not kidding. The only present that didn’t get immediately set aside with a disgusted sigh and eye roll were a pair over-oversized headphones. There were some muttered words about how “ghetto” they were and “hipster“…(Can an item be both ghetto and hipster??)  When he thought I wasn’t looking, he slunk off to his room to wear them while listening to music. Much later, I was treated to a brief head nod and almost-dimple and “Yeah, the headphones are pretty good”

Here’s the only photographic evidence of his birthday…because, “OMG!! Why do you people want to take pictures all the time??  I am NEVER taking pictures of my kids!”

Dinner out on one’s birthday is our little tradition. I like this tradition mostly it gives me a night off from cooking!  The Frug likes it because it ensures that I will actually shower and do my hair. Not kidding. Of course, since it’s a “tradition” and we like it, Sarcasmo hates it. “OMG! Why do we have to go out to dinner?!  What a WASTE OF TIME!”  He actually asked it could just drive -thru Burger King. *sighs*  I was grilling him (no pun intended!) about this anti-restuarant thing. He said “It’s so boring sitting there for 2 HOURS having to talk to people.” (people being US) I said “Gee, you’re going to be a great date — “Hey, let’s drive thru Wendy’s!”  He replied “On a date at least the conversation would be interesting.” Wait a minute! “Your father and I are actually known for being interesting conversationalists!” His reply? An ugly snort of derision.


There are some small moments of joy. Some payback, if you will. Like the birthday cake. He asked for an ice cream cake. No problemo! Picked it up along with some candles and we were all set. He barely tolerated the singing of “Happy Birthday.”  We were “allowed” to take pix of the cake, but not of him. *sighs*  Anyway, the candles I bought?  Trick candles. He’d blow them out and within a few seconds they’d light back up. Muahaha I didn’t even plan it! He was so pissed. hahahaha

It’s the little things, kwim?

This entry was posted on August 13, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment

One thought on “Sarcasmo Celebrated his 14th Anniversary of Breaking Me…

  1. All of those really fun moments will be gone in 16 years or so…..I remember the absolute frustation of it all…..Now I am dealing with a man of 28.,.,..hmmmm…..still frustrating….so is the other 63 year old man In my life

    The good news is that Mr. NoNo is not yet 16… is far worse than everyone says……

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