Yes, You Want More Details…

TMFI posting continued…you’ve been warned.

So, back to my fun time at the dermo. Since I’m prone to ingrowns and have that oh-so-lovely knot of scar tissue, what am I to do??  Her advice, go natural. *gasps* Is she f*cking kidding?!?!?!  It’s gray! I can’t go Full Wool! It’ll look like a brillo pad down there!  70’s Euro Porn Bush!!!!! AND GRAY!!!!!!   *shrieks*

Pondering what guys used to think on their first look at THAT kind of lady garden. Must have been terrifying.  Like, “Wait, you want my mouth WHERE?” lmao

Another side note: (realizing that most of my posts are actually a series of disjointed side notes. *giggles* Oh well!) The more I groom my own bits, the more I’m convinced God is a man. The concentration of hair around the clit is ridic. Like he WANTED it to be difficult to find. A woman God would have made us hairless. Or made the hair form a starburst. Or an arrow. *grins* The male God obviously hates women…lol…covers all the important parts with dense fur and makes the opposite sex creatures who will not ask for directions!!!

Ahem. Anyway.

What about dyeing it??  That’s a big Hell No. We all remember Samantha from SATC, right? Bozo the Clown bush. Not gonna happen.

And, c’mon…once you have hardwood floors, you can’t just do shag carpet. Am I right or am I right??

So, she suggested laser hair removal.  Welp, that doesn’t work on gray hair.

She suggested electrolysis. *shrieks* An electrical current in my lady garden, weed by weed??  I think NOT!

Then she said “Maybe just trim it?” *sighs*  Again, it’s gray. And trimming makes it into little sharp spikes that stick out of your undies. Not attractive and frankly dangerous to anyone who, um, “gets close”,  kwim?? O.o.

With a sigh and with a judgey look in her eyes, she said “Well, if you end up deciding to wax again...” …and started writing out a series of RXs. Antibiotics, topical antibiotic, hydrocortisone cream.  Jesus.

So, this is what a 46 yr old housewife gets for keeping her hardwood floors sparkly and beautiful. What the hell does a hooker need?? Boggles the mind.

Anyway.

I tried to follow her advice. I tried to grow it out a bit and just leave it alone and not pick. Sigh. I lasted 3 weeks. The sitch was getting serious down there. I finally caved and waxed just the undercarriage (the “top” part is where I have ingrown issues) so, it was sort of a reverse mullet. Business up top and partay down below. *snickers* That lasted about 2 days and I then waxed the entire thing off. *purrs*

And took the antibiotics, applied the hydrocortisone and liquid antibiotic.

And cleaned off the magnifying glass and disinfected the tweezers.

What?

This is all normal, right?

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10 thoughts on “Yes, You Want More Details…

  1. i considered sharing your story with my male boss when he was describing the ingown hair on the back of his neck that he has been covering with a bandaid all week. i decided against it.

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