Archive | November 2012

*shrieks*

Filed under “Things That CANNOT Be Unseen”:

OMG OMG OMG

WTF WTF WTF???????

Found this fuckery on DListed…check it out…aahhhh

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This entry was posted on November 28, 2012, in Uncategorized. 3 Comments

I Can’t Possibly Be Alone…

…in thinking that Brad Pitt’s Chanel No. 5 ad is so so so awkward and embarrassing. To take it a step further — as I often do — let’s discuss Brad’s look in the ad, shall we?  

Oh Brad. What happened?? We all know exactly what happened. SHE happened. She sucked all your youth and hotness out of you. Literally, I bet. *sighs*  I think he’s trying to channel his uber-hot Tristan from Legends of the Fall here.  Behold the glory of Tristan

*whimpers* TRISTAN!!!!

Anyway, where was I?

Oh yes…the Chanel No. 5 ad.

So, instead of the long haired brooding tortured hotness of Tristan, I think Brad actually looks like this:

Who’s with me??? What?

Boyfriend needs a chemical peel, a tiny bit of botox, and a haircut.  And maybe some fun in his life???  Jesus, the poor guy just looks SAD.

Reposting — New Insult

Good Morning!  Day 1 of Detox. Anyone else going thru fatsugarsaltdoughalcohol withdrawals? Just me?  Fab.

Anyway, while in beautiful NePA, my nephew reminded me of “gib bag“…I had completely forgotten…reposting this gem below. Enjoy!

(Be warned, this is gross, even for my standards! Lol)

Ready? What could be worse than calling someone a douche bag? (“douche bag” is my go-to insult for when I’m driving) Side note:  not once has either of my boys ever asked “Mom, what’s a douche bag?” I wonder if they’re afraid to ask? Lol I know that 12 would be horrified and 9 would be intrigued and have many follow-up questions! 😉

Where was I?? Oh yes, what’s a nastier thing to call someone? Ready? A “giblet bag”…seriously, how foul (fowl! Ha!) is that? Giblets.  *shudders* What kind of sicko even thought of doing that? “Hey, let’s take all of this creature’s internal organs out and then stick’em in a bag, along with it’s neck, and then shove it all back in?” Poultry farmers are some sick f*cks!

Even worse? You know how disgusting the poultry industry is, right? So, there’s a very good chance, practically guaranteed, that the giblets you remove from the poor bird aren’t even its own giblets. Insult to injury, no?  (the process of removing them is disgusting…ugh…on Twitter, some gross, yet funny, guy said “it’s not ‘removing the giblets’, it’s Turkey Fisting!”  haha and eeuww)

You’re welcome for your new phrase.

*curtsies*

This entry was posted on November 26, 2012, in Uncategorized. 1 Comment

Where are Her Feets? lol

For today’s reading pleasure, I offer Michael K’s DListed article about Ms Simpson and her weight loss and her missing feet.

My fave parts:

 …I’m guessing that about 5 of those pounds were lost after she cut her feet off! Bitch, your jeans ate your toes.

I know some shorties wear shoe-covering boot cut jeans to make themselves look taller, but I don’t get how not having VF (visible feets) makes a ho look taller.

Personally, yes, I think Jessica is looking much better, weight-wise. Her wardrobe choices of floral peasant-looking blouse and pink jacket give me pause tho.  It’s distracting…which I suppose is her goal. lol

http://dlisted.com/2012/11/19/where-are-her-feets

This entry was posted on November 20, 2012, in Uncategorized. Leave a comment

OMG! WHY?!?!

Why oh WHY is Lisa Rinna doing ads for old lady diapers???????

20121118-121819.jpg

This entry was posted on November 18, 2012, in Uncategorized. Leave a comment

Twilight Musing…

So, yeah…the last Twilight movie officially comes out tomorrow night.  Cannot believe it. Read the books in a couple of days in June of 2009…I was LTP (Late To the Party) b/c the first movie had already come out! Anyway, I think my obsession with all things Twilight and Robert Pattinson *purrs* is well-known.

So, Kristen Stewart. Was anxiously awaiting her wardrobe choices for all the promotional shenanigans surrounding the last film…and there’ve been some interesting ones. These two stand out to me…and I’ll tell you why.

The Romper:

Huh. A long sleeved “formal” romper. Who knew?  Legs for dddaaayyysss, btw.

And today’s Jumpsuit:

Hmm. It’s a little Nashville-meets-Vegas-meets-Old-Ladies-on-a-Cruise for me. And assless chaps come to mind. Whatevs. She’s gorgeous in all of it.

My question though…does she ever pee??? How does one wear a romper or a jumpsuit and go to the bathroom???? Regardless of how much money you have, we’re all in the loo squatting over the toilet at some point. And, having to unzip those things and hold them in your hand or balance it on your thighs…again, bathrooms are bathrooms and there’s grossness on the floor no matter what so you need to protect the outfit, kwim?? And then there’s the wiping and flushing and redonning the clothes…*wipes brow* yeesh.

God forbid you’ve got to poop!  Eek!

Very complex. You cannot be drunk whilst wearing a romper, kwim?? Because that could be very problematic.

I suppose these are truly First World Problems, eh?

See, this is why I prefer skirts. Bathroom break? No problemo…lift it up and GO.

Shit, my Freak Flag is FLYING tonight.

*sighs*

This entry was posted on November 14, 2012, in Uncategorized. Leave a comment

ZOMG

And now I’ve seen everything. “Chastity Panties for Dogs”

…could that be more squicky sounding??? I’m grossed out just typing those words!!

Have no idea how these even work…and I feel like I MUST FIND OUT. Do they just physically block another dog from sniffing? Or does it block the delightful girlydoggyparts scent??

Have to say, the dog in the photo is obviously feeling tres sassay in her Chastity Panties. Look at her face! She loves her strawberry chonies! Work it, puppy!

 

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