Mary Lou Retton For What??

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NO!!! WTF??? Mary Lou Retton is hawking DEPENDS!?!?!? She is two years YOUNGER than I am! What is this fuckery? She was an Olympic gymnast! Her sphincter muscles should be able to crack walnuts!

No no NO.

And btw, I’m not wearing those damn things ever. EVER!!!

I sure hope I’ll never need these:

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