Tag Archive | gwyneth paltrow

Filed Under “Why, God, WHY???!

 

*kicks things*

WHY?!  I hate her! *whines*

Okay, hate is strong word. The girl just makes me stabby. Her smugness. Her holier-than-thouness. GAH!  Her I-was-Brad-Pitt’s-angelness.

Cue Psycho music.

AND SHE IS NOT BEAUTIFUL.

*sticks out tongue*

Read Dlisted, of course. The title of Michael K’s article is perfect, as ever —>>> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!.

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Gwyneth and Rihanna!

Didn’t watch the Grammys due to lack of giving a sh*t about the Grammys. BUT, am enjoying some of the pix. Like that one with Gwynnie and Rihanna. OMG.  First of all, can I have that lighting for the rest of my life? Those 2 are glowing! Now, does anyone else think that Rihanna is looking amazing AND maybe just maybe making Mistress G look…fat?? RiRi is very sleek and I happen to detect a teeny tiny microscopic pooch on Gwyneth. *giddy twirls* *mutters* Fecking Gwyneth!

Discuss.

 

Lainey’s Entertainment Update – Celebrity Gossip | Article Detail.

Why Are We So Mean To Fishsticks?!

 

 

 

Why Are We So Mean To Fishsticks?!.

(with apologies and love to Michael K, I am copying and pasting his beautiful prose…I bow down to his greatness)

Believe it or not, Lady Gwyneth Paltrow really does hear the BITCH BOOOOOS coming from the other side of her castle wall while she gracefully strolls through the gardens and picks organic cabbage roses to make scented water for her downstairs guest powder room because that’s the sort of thing all working mothers do. Fishsticks knows that bitches try to throw shade on the sunshine and enlightenment she’s spreading across the world through GOOP. All the cuntified hate almost drowned GOOP for good, but then she realized that haters are gonna hate no matter what. In an interview with Harper’s Bazaar UK (via UsWeekly), Fishy says that an old man in Italy is the one who gave her the strength to go on!

“Any time you do anything with any degree of sincerity, people make fun of you. That’s totally fine. I don’t care. I don’t read any of it. My thing with Goop has always been, if you don’t like it, then don’t log onto it. There were a couple of times when I thought ‘I’m just gonna stop doing it. People are so mean to me. I don’t want to do it.’ But then I was like, ‘Who cares what some lame person out there says?’ I was in Italy once, and this old man came up to me and said, ‘I had the best time in Nashville because of Goop.’ And that is so worth it to me.”

 

If she switched out “sincerity” for “pretentious superiority,” the bitch would be speaking the truth! And you know that “old man in Italy” was Apple in a white beard and a straw hat. Fishy’s lady-in-waiting made Apple do it to cheer the GOOP up. But did Apple really have to make Fishy sound like the ambassador to Nashville? We’ll just call Nashville “Goopville” from now on!

The thing is, THIS BITCH actually thinks that she’s helping the public at large with her words and tips of wisdom. If GOOP was called The Rich Ladies Guide To Being Better Rich Ladies and if Fishsticks pulled her head out of her GOOPHOLE to see how most of the world lives, I wouldn’t have a problem with her ass. Bitch is out of touch.

In a recent edition of GOOP, Fishy wrote about how all of us should really do an after-holiday cleanse and then she recommended this bullshit product that cost $450!!!!! It’s like this head-in-the-ass ho doesn’t know that most people need that $450 to pay an overdue electric bill and buy a box of ramen noodles at Costco for the week. Not all of us can afford to shit for $450. If Fishy simply declared, “I’M RICH, I’M WHITE, I’M FAMOUS, I’M AN OSCAR WINNER, I’M BETTER THAN YOU AND I’M LOVIN’ IT!“, I’d join her fan club.

Oh, and because you needed to know, Fishy is best friends with Beyonce:

“In England, people are cool. They’re really laid back and calm. Beyonce did the school run with me once, and everyone was fine. They also have really good anti-paparazzi rules. If you’re driving in a car and they make you feel freaked out, that’s against the law. They can’t put you in a magazine unless they pixelate the kids’ faces. I miss America, but I love living in the UK.”

And the peasants groan…..

Fishy Hates Horses

I don’t even care what this article is about…I just love the shiteous expression on Madame Paltrow’s evil face. She looks like she’s judging you and plotting your death while smelling particularly foul flatulence…oh, and sucking on a lemon.

Her hair is awful…too stiff and too old for her…and her makeup (too much blush and those brows???) is just wrong.

I don’t  like Gwyneth, can you tell? *hisses*

QOTD: Fishy Hates Horses.