Tag Archive | john mayer

Truths

Good morning!! Am still wrung out after that stupid mammogram. I *know* I’ll have to go back in for “more images” due to my uber-sexy “dense and fibrous” breasts. Nothing sexier than dense and fibrous breasts. *snorts*

Anyway.

Been watching all the celebrities hook-up, break-up and procreate. That’s all they do! Whores! lol But, there’s so much that’s a facade, so much that’s just for publicity. What is the TRUTH?!?! Some things are just TRUE and you know it. When you’ve heard the rumors forever, you just KNOW they are true. Like that John Mayer likes to pee on women. Look at him:

Yeah, I'm a dirty boy. I WILL pee on you.

You just know it’s true. (there are also rumors that there’s feces involved too. EEK!  That part I do NOT want to know about.) I don’t like the thoughts of Jennifer Aniston getting peed on but somehow Jessica Simpson getting peed on was okay. *cackles*

Then there’s the gossip that you know is TRUE because there’s no denial at all. Like the Jets coach and his foot fetish. I happen to LOVE this bit of gossip. The greatest part of this mini-scandal is that they’re in it together. She stars in his kinky foot fetish videos and he films them!  WIN! *dying laughing* I cannot look at the man without thinking “Foot Freak!” *giggles*  But, seriously, love it. He likes feet, she likes to show her feet. It’s a winner of a situation really.

Oh yeah baby! Show me your feet!

There are also those rumors that are just mean and I don’t care if they’re true or not. Like the “Is Khloe a Kardashian or not?” rumor”.  Honestly, I do NOT care about her or her mom possibly being a cheating whore. It’s really mean-spirited too. I like my gossip to be funny and dirty, not mean, kwim?!

There are also rumors that you don’t want to be true. Like Johnny Depp splitting up with his lover (ick, hate that word!) of 14 years, Vanessa Paradis. After 14 years and 2 kids?  Say it ain’t so!!

Now, the last one for today is gossip that just seems true. I don’t know it’s true but it sure could be. The latest rumor is that Bruce Jenner is a cross-dresser. LOVE IT!  I can totally see this one. Look at him:

Yes, I'm wearing red silk panties. Whatever.

LOOK AT HIM. He’s wearing diamond ear studs, has overly waxed eyebrows, and pale pink lipstick. He actually looks like an unattractive woman dressed as a man in that pic! I can totally believe he likes to wear women’s clothing. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Not hurting anyone, right?? Hmm. I wonder if he borrows Khloe’s clothes? Meow.

Happy Friday!

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Celebrities Who May Be Selfish in Bed

This morning, after the alarm rang and was promptly SMASHED, I drifted back to sleep a bit…you know how sometimes you can be asleep for 5 minutes and yet you have the most vivid, hallucinatory dreams?  Well, it was kind of like that today.  

I was thinking of Patrick Swayze circa Dirty Dancing and then Road House…he was yummy back then…recent pix of him have been so sad…I hope the poor guy isn’t in too much pain…Anyway, I was half-asleep thinking that he seemed like he would be a ‘giver’…a guy who would make sure the job got done…nice guys finish last…you know…then I started thinking about some of my favs and what category they would fall in…

Selfish – Stumble into Bed, Smelling of Whiskey and Cigs

  1. Colin Farrell
  2. Robert Pattinson – and this saddens me to think it
  3. Robert Downey Jr.
  4. Daniel Craig
  5. Gerard Butler
  6. Vince Vaughn
  7. Clive Owen
  8. Kiefer Sutherland

Selfish 

  1. John Mayer
  2. Ed Westwick (unless he is gay??)
  3. Bradley Cooper
  4. Lance Armstrong

Unselfish 

  1. Brad Pitt (you know Angie won’t put up w/any slacking in this dept)
  2. Adrien Brody (think about this one for a sec)
  3. Johnny Depp
  4. Ryan Phillipe
  5. Coach Taylor
  6. George Clooney
  7. Stephen Moyer (True Blood guy)

Again, I have no idea if this is even close to being correct!  Nor will I ever find out! LOL

Thoughts?  Discuss…