Tag Archive | Latisse

Sea Hag to Old Whore Update

So, as promised, here’s my update on my magical transformation from Sea Hag back into an Old Whore. Cue eye roll and derisive snicker. Back in Sept., you may recall that I looked in the mirror and, much to my chagrin, saw the yellow fried straw that was my hair…the wrinkled brown-spotted leather that was my skin…the sagging mass of jello that was my butt…I vowed to ameliorate (that’s for you, Jen) the hideous situation(s)…

So, part of my plan has WORKED!  Shocking!!  Here’s the good stuff:

LATISSE!  WOW.  This stuff really really works.  Been using it since early Sept. My eyelashes are, in word, f*ckingamazing.  Long LONG. Black. So black that I can go without mascara (actually look better without mascara b/c they are just so long — the mascara is best saved for Date Nights or other special occasions) and are so black that it seems to look like I have eyeliner on (top only) even when I don’t!  WIN WIN WIN!  The only drawback, if you could call it that, is that the lashes do need to be curled or I look a bit like the Snuffleupagus.  And, I have decided to start using the Latisse every other night, rather than every night.  Cannot imagine having them even longer than they are! Epic WIN! 😉

long, black, uncurled lashes

The next thing that was WORKED (woot!) is the Sketchers Shape Ups! Remember these not-cool-looking sneaks?

Shape Ups for the WIN!

They are vaguely orthopedic looking, no?  But, they are so comfy.  Seriously could wear them all day and night.  I wear them on the treadmill, walking the Black Beast, doing errands.  It’s like walking on fluffy clouds.  AND, the best part?  I swear to God…my butt *is* higher and tighter!  Not like you would ever look at me and say ‘OMG, her butt is so small and tight and hot’ or anything..but…I am 43 and my butt is looking maybe 40 now! 😉  Another WIN!

Onto the hair.  This one is difficult to categorize due the ever-changing nature of the beast.  One day I’m freshly highlighted and trimmed, the next? Big gray stripe and split ends!  WTH?  But, overall, my hair is vastly improved. Have had it done 3x since Sept. (maintenance is a b*tch, people) with LOWlights…had the just the roots touched up as well. And, I asked my guy, Danny, to ‘warm it up’ this last time.  And THAT has really helped.  It’s just so much better than my ‘cool’ tone, which surprised me b/c I am naturally more of an ash blonde (and G is a very ashy almost green haired kid)…but, instead of it becoming orangey or reddish (which is what warm meant in my head), it’s just subtly more of a caramel tone, I think. Still highlighted but toned way down. Much much better, methinks.

Now, the one thing that hasn’t really worked.  The skin. Have used the tri-luma cream since mid-September.  Overall, my skin is lighter and slightly (very) more even.  However, there are still brown splotches!  I have even been using an SPF 50 moisturizer each day! AND, on the advice of the esthetician, I added a glycolic acid as part of the a.m. routine.  Really hoped for more.  She had said that I would probably want to move to something more aggressive like the Obagi stuff. (LMac?  Good stuff, right??)  Sigh.  I guess so.  KBB advised a laser treatment but I’m still too scared 😉  Oh, and another downside is that you cannot wax when using a retinoid like tri-luma.  Apparently, the skin is weakened and the wax could rip off another layer (or 2!) of skin!  Yikes.  So, that meant I have had to do ‘threading’ which is &@$@) torture.  Brows, lip, chin.  Agony. Way more painful than waxing.  Grumble.

Overall, not too shabby.  At my age, I will take any improvements!  Better to move ever-so-slightly ahead than to backslide, right?? Right.  But, we’re having this blizzard and what’s a girl to do? EAT. Not walk the doggie in her Shape Ups. Merry Fatmas! LOL


Christmas carols, stellar parenting, and still an Old Whore

Have had some complaints about the blog-less-ness.  Sorry!  Am so overwhelmed by the holidays!  Am overwhelmed to the point of paralysis though, kwim?!  Sigh.

So, last week, the kids’ school had what they call ‘the Christmas Prayer’…it’s not like a concert or a pageant or anything.  It’s basically just in the church, kids singing, not on stage or anything. One hour max. Very low key. Perfect.  Seriously. Even *I* cannot bitch and moan about it. I actually have nothing mean or sarcastic to say!  It’s a Christmas Miracle!  LOL  I sit there and just soak in everything that is right about the holidays! All kids dressed up, cleaned up nice and pretty…singing their hearts out (except for the 6th grade — all mumbling and self conscious already?! Btw, this is my Garrett’s grade, so I can make the comment freely!) and just so sweet. They end with Silent Night…lights dimmed, candles flickering, me crying.  Every.Damn.Time.  Each year I say “I will NOT cry” and yet I cry!  Why?!  Maybe I have a heart after all?  Maybe there’s hope for me?


Earlier that day, I showed my true colors. The Evil was out in full force. Mornings are tough around here. My firstborn and I are so alike, in all the worst ways. I think that God definitely has a mean sense of humor, giving me myself in male form…Sarcastic, sloppy, procrastinators. Garrett and I should just not speak to one another until noon.  He and I are Not-Morning.People. We are tired and grumpy and should be left alone.  The Frug and Peter bounce out of bed, happy, chatty, ready to start the day. I hate them. Anyway, this particular morning, we were running a bit late. I have to light a fire under Garrett, who wants to just stay in bed and moan loudly about how unfair life is. I *try* to stay pleasant, which goes against my very nature. Come ‘on, out of bed…time for breakfast…Peter is already up, dressed, fed, and has brushed his teeth.  G finally gets up and eats, bitching about which cereal I have selected. OMG, MOM! I hate this kind!  Never ever buy this again! We glare at each other. He stumbles up stairs, literally. It’s now 7:30am and we should be in the car. I have to start with the Let’s GO! Hurry UP! I mutter some minor expletives under my breath. He’s in there, gelling his hair. He is 11. He uses that God-Awful AXE body wash and deodorant spray and extra firm hair gel to spike his bangs up just so. OMG, MOM!  My hair is SO UGLY!  And now I have toothpaste on my shirt!  AAAHHHH  I can’t go to school!!!!!!! And then he throws himself back into his bed. Screaming about being too ugly.  HE.IS.A BOY. I end up shouting something like ‘Get the ()$&%%#* out of your bed RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!’ (insert which ever expletive you want…you won’t be too far off)

Yep, Best Mom Ever. Hope the Frug has some $$ put aside for therapy for his Mommy Issues.  Sigh.

Finally, despite my best efforts over the last few months, I still look like an Old Whore. I *do* have stellar eyelashes…but Old Whore with great lashes is still an Old Whore.  If I have the energy, I shall post later about the miracle that is Latisse, my current hair color, the state of my uterus, and the haggardness that is my face.

Merry Christmas. Grumble.

A Facial, Progress on Fall Goals, Adios Sea Hag?

Had a much needed facial on Saturday!  Went to a ‘Day of Beauty’ event at Dr. Bitar’s office (dermatologist/plastic surgeon) a week or so ago b/c I saw an ad for 20% off products or services…I am so so so frugal, no? LOL  Anyway, I had a quick (free) consult w/their Esthetician and set up the facial appt. The facial was done by Amy and I loved her!  She was very sweet and non-judgemental about my sun damage and very encouraging that it could be tackled!  I hate going into a doctor or a spa and being lectured about staying out of the sun, etc. I *know* all that, damnit!  I’m sorry that I am an 80’s girl who had tanorexia!  Just fix me!  Anyway, the facial was their deep cleansing one…very standard stuff…cleansing, exfoliating, extractions(my fav!!!), glycolic treatment (she said she was mixing a couple of them together)…she also put a vitamin C serum on my face

smells like BACON!

smells like BACON!

and it doesn’t smell like oranges as I expected…it smells like BACON.  How weird is that??  Kind of off-putting…but, it’s supposed to be great stuff.  Anyway, at the end, she did a little of the Jane Iredale makeup…just a little touch-up…which I loved too!  Hate walking out of a facial all naked faced and splotchy, kwim? Here’s the best part…after I got dressed and was leaving, there WASN’T a bunch of products waiting for me. You know how some facials end up being a sales pitch??  Cannot stand that.  All blissed out, feeling smooth and soft and then BAM! Buy this stuff.  So uncomfortable.  Either the Esthetician is standing there watching you or the receptron (shout out to Rae Rae!) is looking at your like you are a cheap b*tch for not buying the products.  GAH. Buzzkill!  She gave me a nice sized sample of the vitamin C serum and a skin firming moisturizer, and some tips about using the TriLuma cream (I waited to actually start this cream until after the facial b/c she wanted to be sure the glycolic acids didn’t irritate my skin too much)…oh, one more thing, while she was rubbing my face (love!) she sort of bumped my eyelashes a few times and I made a comment about having started the Latisse recently…she said she could see new lash growth!  And so can I!  Feeling very lush-lashed! 😉  It seems a bit soon to see the growth but I can!  Yeah!

What else?  Got low lights yesterday…desperately needed them…can’t really tell how they look b/c I didn’t get a blowout (another $40 and again, I am so frugal!)…we’ll see on Friday night when I get all fancy for another school cocktail party 😉

Have you ever heard of Rue La La? It’s like an online sample sale…I have gotten so many bargains! My most recent was MD Skincare…got the Alpha Beta® Daily Body Peel! It is on their website for $78 and I got it for $39!!!  Frug approved! 😉

Look out, Aniston!

Look out, Aniston!

I have read that my skin goddess, Jennifer Aniston, gets microderm all over her body…so, this is my at-home attempt to get HER glowing body 😉 haha Good Luck, right?  I did it last weekend and I will again tonight…there are 2 sets of pre-soaked pads…one with the peel stuff and one with the neutralizer stuff…you just basically wipe it on (til the pad is dry) where ever you want to get rid of dull dry skin on your body! Waaaaay better than some of the in-shower scrubs…they disapoint me greatly. Make me all greasy feeling too. Ugh.

So, working on the condition of my aging skin…dry skin on body…fresh LOWLIGHTS…can I kiss Sea Hag-dom good-bye?  Nah, not yet.  Soon though…as God is my witness, I will cast off this mantle of the Sea Hag!

Back to FALL

So, this rainy day after Labor Day…yeesh!  How depressing!  I had hoped to send summer out w/a sun-drenched bang but that rain killed it.  Le Sigh.  Anyway, it was a good day to think about fall, goals, changes, etc. The Frug also spurred me on a bit w/his repeated pleas for me to ‘do something with that closet’!!  I did start the closet clean-out. Those who have lived with me can envision what my closet looks like…clothing on hangers…clothing (is it clean or dirty??) on the floor…shoes on racks…shoes on floor…sweaters piled on the shelves, folded?  haha Nope. images (still remember Beth Ann and her amazing Benetton folding and KPR with her GAP folding!  come on over!  Help a girl out!)  Started going thru stuff…am thinking of something Rachel said about ‘if it doesn’t make you feel fabulous, then get rid of it!’  Sadly, out of all of it, perhaps one or two things make me feel fab so I can’t really stick with that plan 😉  But, I did start…and have ADDed the rest…still have to put most of the stuff back on hangers and get those shoes in order.  Did root out a number of items that did NOT fit in with the ‘How Not To Look Old’ bible… images-1

Later today, I will post my List of Fall Changes I hope to make…I have already started on a few of them…like LATISSE!  After much internal debate, I bit the bullet and got it.  Started 2 weeks ago.  My main concern is/was the rare possibility that it could turn my blue eyes brown…one friend who is known for her gorgeous green eyes has been using Latisse and has not had a problem…and if she can risk losing her green peepers, so can I!  haha (actually, when I researched it, the blue-eyes-brown thing happened with the solution people were using IN their eyes for another condition…Latisse goes on the eyelid at the eyelash base, not directly into your eye)…and, worst case? I have brown eyes (love Brown Eyed Girl!) with amazing long thick dark lashes!  🙂

Also started, just last night, TriLuma which will hopefully fade my brown spots (aka melasma) left over from my 2 fun-filled pregnancies 😉 I will post before/during/after pix of that…

More later!!  Happy Back-to-School! 🙂