Tag Archive | new moon

To Jort or not to Jort

According to the Urban Dictionary, jorts are:

“worn mostly by children and douchebags”…”often worn by the fashion illiterate” and “Possibly the ugliest article of clothing one can wear”…”Usually worn by people who do not have friends, because a true friend would tell you that you look like a faggot.”

Yikes.

The question is, are jorts only that awful if they’re worn by men?  Because I think they’re kind of cute for women…the right wash, the right length, etc., of course. Am I wrong???

Wondering if jorts have been completely ruined by Jacob and his lupine friends in New Moon?  Sort of like how Jon Gosselin ruined the Ed Hardy brand simply by being photographed wearing it??

Douche Wear...

(seriously, google “Jon Gosselin, Ed Hardy and douche” — I got 450,000 results!)  Here’s one article about how he’s ruined that brand…

So, thoughts on jorts?? ‘Cause I’m thinking about maybe getting a cute pair of boyfriend jorts…stop me if this is going to be yet another fashion disaster for me…

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Yes, I am back…

…and real life is kicking my ass right now. Perhaps more on that later.

So, Girls Weekend. A-m-a-z-i-n-g. TLCMcR has the cutest place in Virginia Wine Country! I plan on staying there if/when there’s some sort of 24-esque attack on DC…packing the family into the Commander and off we go to hike the Shenandoah Mountains!

We had plans to do old school home facials, mani/pedis, hair treatments…instead we lounged on her fab porch, listening to the sounds of the river flowing by, and just chatted, relaxed, drank wine.  Perfect. Seriously perfect.

HIKED on Sat. morning.  Out in NATURE! I know! How not-Kelly is that?  I wish there had been other people around to enjoy the sound of the bear bells I wore and to hear the air horn I was honking. Because there are BEARS out there. BEARS!  The girls were mocking me, silently. I honked the air horn whenever I sensed the mockery reaching a fever pitch. B*tches. lol

Went to a winery on Sat. afternoon.  Can you believe they didn’t have pink wine?  I refrained from yelling ‘where the f*ck is the white zin?’ lol  Learned that TANNIN is my enemy…I can’t stand the way it makes my tongue feel like Spongebob when all the water is sucked out of him.  Sat. nite was dindin at a cute place in-town where I managed NOT to embarrass us…I didn’t even yell ‘Vagina’ or anything! The highlight of the night (for me) was getting New Moon On Demand!  (my Target order – 3 discs woot! – came while I was away)  Poor KPR hasn’t read any of the Twilight books (and yes, I still speak to her) and the other ladies were (this pains me) Team Dog. But I had enough vino at that point to ignore their squeals of excitement over Taylor Lautner’s abs! lol

Came home on Sunday to a scene that was Oliver Twist Meets The Hangover. The Frug went to a bachelor party Sat. nite. Apparently, it was epic. Bunch of 40+++ somethings partying like college boys – wish I would’ve been a fly on the wall. lol So, he was looking beat, stretched out on the barcalounger. The kids? Looked like they had grown overnight…mismatched clothes…their hair was wild and unkempt…they had bags under their eyes and snot hanging from their noses…Otis was in a heap, giving me the stink eye for abandoning the family.  Fiona was in her basement lair, judging me.  Naturally, the laundry had been boinking like bunnies as had the dishes…

So, back to life…back to reality…back to the here and now…*sing with me!*

A tweet from David Slade

David Slade is the Director of a little upcoming flick called Eclipse!

Cutting like crazy, the film is getting closer working through the weekends again, adding more EDWARD!

I tweeted back, telling him that there is never enough Edward & to add MORE.

‘Cause Slade and I are tight like that.

And, here’s a little pic of my man, Robert Pattinson. It’s a leak from an upcoming Details magazine article. Apparently, he will be surrounded by lucky bitches models, mostly naked…the models, not Robert, sadly…Speaking of sad, I think he looks a bit melancholy here.  Perhaps he misses me?

He looks older too. But in a hot way. As always.