Tag Archive | the Frug

*swooning* Richard Burton Diaries vs My Reality

 

 

Reading my People Magazine…the one with Douchy McAttentionWhore on the cover. I shan’t mention his name because that is what he wants!!  Anyway, I came upon the book review section and discovered “The Richard Burton Diaries“…I read “Furious Love” a few years ago and have found their love/hate/boozefest story fascinating.  The book covers more than just his years and marriage(s) with Elizabeth Taylor BUT that’s the most interesting part!  He wrote of his passionate love for her:

“E is my only ism,” Burton writes. “Elizabethism.” While she was away, he noted, “I miss her like food.” He calls Taylor “an eternal one-night stand” and “beautiful beyond the dreams of pornography.” He declares, “She is a prospectus that can never be entirely cataloged, an almanac for Poor Richard.”

*swooning*

It left me longing for the days of love letters and being courted. (yes, all fantasies lol)  What I have instead is from the Frug, which I received in this uber romantic text messages:

And later, this…

A beautifully organized “pantry”…be still my heart. *rolls eyes*

Sure, Richard Burton could write this of his wife:

“I have been inordinately lucky all my life, but the greatest luck of all has been Elizabeth. She has turned me into a moral man, but not a prig, she is a wildly exciting lover-mistress, she is shy and witty, she is nobody’s fool, she is a brilliant actress, she is beautiful beyond the dreams of pornography, she can be arrogant and willful, she is clement and loving, Dulcis Imperatrix, she is Sunday’s child, she can tolerate my impossibilities and my drunkenness, she is an ache in the stomach when I am away from her, and she loves me!

…but could he organize a pantry on a sunny Saturday afternoon???  Hmm.

Flight Of The Hot Chocolate

Oh NO!  The Frug has grown a beard!

Isn’t it amazing how a dark beard can make anyone look like a terrorist? This guy (Flight of the Conchords, Jemaine Clement — known for resembling the Frug) is a singer from freaking New Zealand but I would totes cross the street if I saw him approaching me!

Flight Of The Hot Chocolate.

Rachel McAdams Michael Sheen public romantic weekend in Toronto 05oct10

Really??  THIS guy gets the adorable Rachel McAdams?? (not feeling the color of her hair nor it’s frizziness in this picture tho) The guy is the uber talented Michael Sheen – he was Tony Blair in The Queen, David Frost in Frost/Nixon (so good in case you haven’t seen it), some sort of beast in the Underworld movies, and oh yeah he’s Aro in those little Twilight movies you may have heard of…

Anyway, he’s cute, in a leprechaun-like way. His IMBD lists him as 5’9″ *coughs* please…that’s 5’5″ to you and me.  He must have something going on tho…he was with the hotness that is Kate Beckinsale (in the Frug’s Top 5) and had a child with her…I wonder what his secret it? Rachel McAdams looks quite happy and dare I say ‘satisfied’???  hmmmm

Rachel McAdams Michael Sheen public romantic weekend in Toronto 05oct10.

Garlic, Holy Water, what’s it going to take?

Crucifixes? Am I hiding from vampires?  No. *whispers* I am hiding from the Frug. He is on an insane Spring Cleaning Frenzy…

No, really. It’s scary around here. On Saturday, he and 8 emptied out the entire garage (2 car garage…4 bikes, misc. old strollers, ladders, hoses, man tools, etc…the usual)…they hosed it out…cleaned every single item (8 was a machine w/the hose)…made groups of keep/donate/trash…loaded up my car (which *is* making my ass look fat, damnit) with Goodwill items…and then put everything that wasn’t trash back in…the freaking garage sparkles. It’s a bit frightening…

Today’s torture was our bathroom…he decided we needed new faucets…being a smart man, he hired 2 terribly attractive men w/all of their teeth, who def. didn’t smoke or chew tobacco *cue sarcasm*…although, at least these 2 guys – straight from the movie Deliverance – didn’t take a monster crap in our powder room like the last guy – the bathroom smelled like ass and old man for hours after he left *shudders* …

Where was I?  Oh, yes..the faucets.  So, in order for them to access the 2 bathroom sinks (yes, it is a joy not to share a sink, yes?), I had to clean all my stuff out from under the sink…and ‘since I was on a roll’ *growls* I needed to ‘take care of all those bags and bottles and misc. beauty products’ that I have accumulated on the vanity and elsewhere in the bathroom. F*ck Me.

Can you imagine?  Nah, probably not. *sighs* I tend to know perfectly organized Type A gals who have file folders and Container Store bins and nothing is ever out of place…I, on the other hand, am a piler and a gatherer…however, I am *NOT* a hoarder. I have been accused of this and I am NOT A HOARDER! Ahem.

As a product ‘ho, I do have lots of little sample bottles, lotions, potions, old lipsticks, mini shampoos/conditioners, a variety of hair implements, dozens of nail polishes (why? I never use them, I use whatever they have at the nail salon!), samples, gifts-with-purchase, etc. And, I think it’s been about 3 years since he has forced me at gunpoint asked me nicely to sort thru it all. Painful. I think he thought that I would go thru it and feel ashamed of my excesses. Saddened my my wastefulness and spendthriftiness (gee, that almost sounds positive!)…nope. I sorted. I threw away. I organized. I stewed. *heavy sigh*

Well, it’s done now. My products have been weeded. I looked at the faucets (such a sexy new purchase *eye roll*) and felt happy for the Frug. I looked at my semi-bare vanity and organized under-the-sink area and felt bereft! And eager to re-stock!  muahaha

I am afraid of What’s Next…he’s been walking by our closet and making little tut tut noises and shaking his head…that is not good. Pray for me…

Yes, I am back…

…and real life is kicking my ass right now. Perhaps more on that later.

So, Girls Weekend. A-m-a-z-i-n-g. TLCMcR has the cutest place in Virginia Wine Country! I plan on staying there if/when there’s some sort of 24-esque attack on DC…packing the family into the Commander and off we go to hike the Shenandoah Mountains!

We had plans to do old school home facials, mani/pedis, hair treatments…instead we lounged on her fab porch, listening to the sounds of the river flowing by, and just chatted, relaxed, drank wine.  Perfect. Seriously perfect.

HIKED on Sat. morning.  Out in NATURE! I know! How not-Kelly is that?  I wish there had been other people around to enjoy the sound of the bear bells I wore and to hear the air horn I was honking. Because there are BEARS out there. BEARS!  The girls were mocking me, silently. I honked the air horn whenever I sensed the mockery reaching a fever pitch. B*tches. lol

Went to a winery on Sat. afternoon.  Can you believe they didn’t have pink wine?  I refrained from yelling ‘where the f*ck is the white zin?’ lol  Learned that TANNIN is my enemy…I can’t stand the way it makes my tongue feel like Spongebob when all the water is sucked out of him.  Sat. nite was dindin at a cute place in-town where I managed NOT to embarrass us…I didn’t even yell ‘Vagina’ or anything! The highlight of the night (for me) was getting New Moon On Demand!  (my Target order – 3 discs woot! – came while I was away)  Poor KPR hasn’t read any of the Twilight books (and yes, I still speak to her) and the other ladies were (this pains me) Team Dog. But I had enough vino at that point to ignore their squeals of excitement over Taylor Lautner’s abs! lol

Came home on Sunday to a scene that was Oliver Twist Meets The Hangover. The Frug went to a bachelor party Sat. nite. Apparently, it was epic. Bunch of 40+++ somethings partying like college boys – wish I would’ve been a fly on the wall. lol So, he was looking beat, stretched out on the barcalounger. The kids? Looked like they had grown overnight…mismatched clothes…their hair was wild and unkempt…they had bags under their eyes and snot hanging from their noses…Otis was in a heap, giving me the stink eye for abandoning the family.  Fiona was in her basement lair, judging me.  Naturally, the laundry had been boinking like bunnies as had the dishes…

So, back to life…back to reality…back to the here and now…*sing with me!*

Frug Appreciation Day

Yes, I have decided that today is Frug Appreciation Day. Takes a few days of absence for reality to kick in.  The house is in a shambles, the kids are whiny, the dog and cat are even out of sorts…haven’t made a decent meal for the kids in days…living on grilled cheese and ‘breakfast for dinner’…the clocks are still on the wrong time (and I can’t get figure out how to change them! gah!)…the trash needs to be taken out (that’s a man’s job, damnit! I know, I know…off to take it out now *grumbles*)…having the Frug around keeps me focused, ‘on task’, getting stuff done, tackling my ‘To Do’ list (wait, he is the one who puts things on my To Do list *frowns*)…keeps me from goofing around on the computer til all hours of the night…and, I can’t sleep without him here!   UGH.  He snores and drives me insane but it’s comforting in a way??

I fully realize that, without the Frug, we would be living in a van down by the river.  Wait, not a van b/c I would forget to make the payments and it would be repossessed.  We would live in a cardboard box down by the river.

So, Happy Frug Day!  (he’s flying home tonight – pray for a safe flight!  For my sake! lol and not kidding)

I Smell Sex and Candy

or something like that 😉  Before Christmas, after about 10 years of avoidance, I stepped back into Abercrombie & Fitch.  Used to buy shirts for the Frug there before they changed their target audience. Thought that I could find a plaid shirt for him, like Robert Pattinson (mmmm) wears…also shopped for nephew and nieces…Holy cow, how freaking expensive is that store??  This shirt

How 'special' could this shirt possibly be?

was $70?  WTH?  I also found this adorable chunky Aztec-y wrap sweater thingy for myself but couldn’t stomach the $120(!!) for it (see, I can be frugal). It reminded me of a sweater Gisele Bundchen had on in a pic a few months back (and since Gisele and I are so similar, I thought it would work for me!) Here it is:

it's way cuter in person

and a scarf…and I am now annoyed that I cannot find a pic of it.  Sort of looks like this one, but gray and it has extra ‘tentacles’!

gray, long strands all over, very long, furry

(**side note, I went back to A&F after Christmas and got that sweater 50% off!  And the scarf too! Again, Frugal is my middle name!)

Annoying side note…I was all wrapped up in my fun gray scarf, feeling adorable and quite pleased with myself…the Frug says ‘you look like a Wooly Mammoth’…oookkkkkaaaayyyyy…the 11 yr old says ‘um, MOM? Not to be mean or anything but you look like something out of Star Wars’  GGGGGGrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooowwwwwwwwwlllllllllllllllllll

Anyway, when I was shopping I was overwhelmed by the loud club music and the PERFUME.  Yeesh. Everything smells like it was drenched in one of their fragrances.  When I mentioned this to my 19 year old nephew, he said ‘oh yeah, Abercrombie smells like Sex and Shame‘…sex and SHAME??  The boy isn’t even Catholic!  How would he know that those two S’s go together! lol  And, what kind of sex is the boy having?  (eeuuww! grossed myself out!)