Tag Archive | whores

Tiger’s Wall Of Whores

So, when is the woman a ‘mistress’ and when is she just a whore? I think if you’re one of 9 (or MORE) b*tches Tiger Woods is banging, you’re not a mistress, you’re just another whore.

Believe me, I know HE is the biggest whore of them all.  When did he find the time to do all these women?  When did he find time to impregnate his wife, twice?  How do you find the time and energy to keep all the lies straight?

I wish we were not this culture of Worship the Athlete. Just b/c the guy is a great athlete does NOT make him a great person. Usually the opposite.

Kind of fun watching these a-holes crash and burn though.  Watching their publicity machines try to somehow spin this ugliness. And, the lawyers.  All the whores, incl.  Tiger, are all lawyered up.  Love means never having to hire a lawyer, right?  LOL

Tiger’s Wall Of Whores

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Today’s Post is Rated-MA D L S V

Mature (18+), Suggestive Dialogue, Offensive/Coarse Language, Sexual Content/References, Moderate Violence (implied or intended at least!)

Actually, this is what Kelly’s Superficial is rated overall…today is just very consistent w/my (ahem) ‘standards’!

It's a F*ck Me Day!

It's a F*ck Me Day!

So, it’s a F*ck Me Day. Sing ‘It’s a Hard Knock Life’ from Annie and substitute the words ‘f*ck me day’…sing it! “It’s a F*ck Me Day” No other words…just that.  Why?

Woke up to the darkness and rain. F*ck me. Kids woke up late and crabby. B*tching about their breakfasts.  Make your own damn breakfast, jerks! lol  The Frug wakes up chipper every day.  Amazing. We are such opposites!  He dared to ask ‘soooo, what are you doing today?’ with the implication that perhaps I am doing NOTHING as usualAh, the Frug's Dream Wife!I bit back the reply I wanted to give which was ‘oh, sitting around eating bon bons while surfing the internet for naked Rob Pattinson pictures…then I may take a nap’…however, in the spirit of civility (or was it just fatigue?), I simply said ‘lots of stuff to do today, asshole‘ 😉 Dropped the devils off at school (they are safer there, trust me) and went to Target (which should transform it into a JOY day) to drop off the TWO prescriptions for Peter’s ‘folliculitis’ aka crotch rot and the @(&$@ pharmacy doesn’t open until 9am. Again, F*CK ME.

Next up for me? Doing a craft-y project for the kids’ school that I had been putting off for weeks now. And, naturally, it had to be done by TODAY.  WHYWHYWHY do I do this to myself?  I just can’t make myself ‘work ahead’ when I have the time…I have to wait and wait and then jam it out.  Grumble. Anyway, I allotted 1 hour…it took FOUR. F*ck me. Involved lots of fine motor skills…cutting, pasting, editing text, printing, visual layout, etc. Ugh.  Used ‘dry mount’ for the first time. BtFw, it is NOT dry! It is sticky and may just stay on my hands until I die. Tried regular soap/water…used ‘Goo Gone’, etc.The GOO is not GONE-Thanks for Nothing! grr Nothing worked. Now I have lemon scented hands w/clumps of dried glue…and, naturally, dog hair. The Goo is NOT gone.  Thanks for nothing, Goo Gone. F*ck me.  Went to eat lunch…couldn’t even pick up my sandwich without grossing myself out.  Guess that’s one way to diet? LOL and heavy sigh.

Final (perhaps) complaint. (ha! who am I trying to kid? This is NOT my final complaint by a long shot! lol) So, I’m going to NYC in November (NO $&)@$& kids or Frug! woot!)…thought it might be fun to go see SNL…ever heard the expression ‘who do I have to f*ck to get (whatever)?’  Well, apparently you actually have to f*ck someone to get SNL tickets!!!  Now, since I have that whole marriage/monogamy/fidelity thing going on, I am *out* of the equation.  However, a friend of a friend has been known to bang a cast member or 2. So, it’s all good, right?!  NO!  Beyotch is all ‘I don’t feel comfortable asking him for tickets’. Annoyed. Doesn’t she That's right, Ron Burgundy. *I* am Kind of a Big Deal too! LOLknow ‘I’m kind of a Big Deal’ and she should take one for the Kelly’s Superficial team?? Apparently not. Hmph.  More on this SNL biznaz later.

Time for some wine and my Snuggie.

very brief Cougartown Review

Well, I am not in love yet.  I did like it tho. And, CeCe is looking good. Can’t believe she tried to look all ‘old’ by doing the elbow skin thing and the fake fat shaking. It was funny but hello? Courteney Cox is a fox! LOL Did anyone notice how many times she said WHORE?  I think it was a shout out to ME! 😉

Best line…”we had sex like 3 times and you didn’t need a nap or pills or anything!”  Loved it.

Will tune in next week. I did see some Monica-eque mannerisms but I didn’t think it screamed Monica Gellar in Cougartown, kwim?

New Word – WHOREGASM!

Yes, I have been ‘published’ AGAIN! The new word…well, it’s an old word but I have given a new definition…ready?

Whoregasm
the intense orgasm had after doing something very slutty…
“I know I shouldn’t have cheated on Ted…but I had such a whoregasm w/Rob…”

or

“I felt so slutty wearing that bondage outfit but WOW – what a whoregasm!”

Check the Urban Dictionary…mine is currently definition #2! Looks like you can give the definition a thumbs up or a thumbs down…thumbs UP!
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=whoregasm

2 New Terms Published in the Urban Dictionary

Joining “Cougwhore” and “Old Whore” are:

Festival of Whores

Place where there are lots of available women.

“Dude, how was the action in Dewey?” “Awesome, it was like a Festival of Whores.”

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=festival+of+whores

and

Mysterious Male Friend

New friend of your maybe-gaybe buddy.

“Did Joe bring a date?” “Nah, he was with one of his Mysterious Male Friends.”

“Dude, ran into your buddy Steve. Wearing guyliner. With a Mysterious Male Friend.”

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mysterious+male+friend