Mature (18+), Suggestive Dialogue, Offensive/Coarse Language, Sexual Content/References, Moderate Violence (implied or intended at least!)
Actually, this is what Kelly’s Superficial is rated overall…today is just very consistent w/my (ahem) ‘standards’!
It's a F*ck Me Day!
So, it’s a F*ck Me Day. Sing ‘It’s a Hard Knock Life’ from Annie and substitute the words ‘f*ck me day’…sing it! “It’s a F*ck Me Day” No other words…just that. Why?
Woke up to the darkness and rain. F*ck me. Kids woke up late and crabby. B*tching about their breakfasts. Make your own damn breakfast, jerks! lol The Frug wakes up chipper every day. Amazing. We are such opposites! He dared to ask ‘soooo, what are you doing today?’ with the implication that perhaps I am doing NOTHING as usual…I bit back the reply I wanted to give which was ‘oh, sitting around eating bon bons while surfing the internet for naked Rob Pattinson pictures…then I may take a nap’…however, in the spirit of civility (or was it just fatigue?), I simply said ‘lots of stuff to do today, asshole‘ 😉 Dropped the devils off at school (they are safer there, trust me) and went to Target (which should transform it into a JOY day) to drop off the TWO prescriptions for Peter’s ‘folliculitis’ aka crotch rot and the @(&$@ pharmacy doesn’t open until 9am. Again, F*CK ME.
Next up for me? Doing a craft-y project for the kids’ school that I had been putting off for weeks now. And, naturally, it had to be done by TODAY. WHYWHYWHY do I do this to myself? I just can’t make myself ‘work ahead’ when I have the time…I have to wait and wait and then jam it out. Grumble. Anyway, I allotted 1 hour…it took FOUR. F*ck me. Involved lots of fine motor skills…cutting, pasting, editing text, printing, visual layout, etc. Ugh. Used ‘dry mount’ for the first time. BtFw, it is NOT dry! It is sticky and may just stay on my hands until I die. Tried regular soap/water…used ‘Goo Gone’, etc. Nothing worked. Now I have lemon scented hands w/clumps of dried glue…and, naturally, dog hair. The Goo is NOT gone. Thanks for nothing, Goo Gone. F*ck me. Went to eat lunch…couldn’t even pick up my sandwich without grossing myself out. Guess that’s one way to diet? LOL and heavy sigh.
Final (perhaps) complaint. (ha! who am I trying to kid? This is NOT my final complaint by a long shot! lol) So, I’m going to NYC in November (NO $&)@$& kids or Frug! woot!)…thought it might be fun to go see SNL…ever heard the expression ‘who do I have to f*ck to get (whatever)?’ Well, apparently you actually have to f*ck someone to get SNL tickets!!! Now, since I have that whole marriage/monogamy/fidelity thing going on, I am *out* of the equation. However, a friend of a friend has been known to bang a cast member or 2. So, it’s all good, right?! NO! Beyotch is all ‘I don’t feel comfortable asking him for tickets’. Annoyed. Doesn’t she know ‘I’m kind of a Big Deal’ and she should take one for the Kelly’s Superficial team?? Apparently not. Hmph. More on this SNL biznaz later.
Time for some wine and my Snuggie.