Archive | January 2013

Niche Marketing

So, today’s Kelly Time (all 90 minutes of it) included browsing through the feminine hygiene aisle at Target, as one does…I posted the photo earlier of the poorly named “Radiant” tampons. Good Lord. Radiant? I want mine to be “sturdy” or “tough” or something. Radiance is not a quality that will make me want to buy your tampons.

Anyway.

All kinds of interesting items in that aisle now. Did you know that there are Trojan brand VIBRATORS?  At Target?! All kinds of “intense” lube and massive condoms. Sort of salacious stuff for a family oriented store. Not that I’m complaining.

Anyway.

Saw this item:

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Playtex “Fresh & Sexy” Before and After Intimate Wipes.

Oookkkkkaaaaayyyy.

So, who could they be marketing these to? Hmm. People who aren’t going to be showering/bathing before OR after “intimacy“… People who need to grab a wipe, use it, and move on.

Hmm.

WHORES.

They are marketing to WHORES.

Whore Wipes — buy ’em at Target.

Just FYI.

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This entry was posted on January 31, 2013, in Uncategorized. 3 Comments

A Dog Day

Decided that in honor of the impending snowstorm (I think we’re expecting an INCH!), I would live my day as Otis.

Woke up.

Had breakfast.

Had a nice poop.

Went back to bed.

Ah-maze-ing.

Dogs are not stupid.

This entry was posted on January 25, 2013, in Uncategorized. 1 Comment

Announcement

Tostitos Cantina Thin & Crispy.

You. Are. My. Life. Now.

Get in mah belleh.

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This entry was posted on January 19, 2013, in Uncategorized. Leave a comment

Interesting…

Working on the %&(#&%)# laundry. As ever. *sighs*

Sorting and folding (aka Bane of my Existence). The Frug and the kids have work/school clothes and jammies. Noticing my pile consists of predominantly sweat pants and jammies. Huh.

That must mean something but what?? *taps chin*

Hmmm.

Never mind.

*scampers off to Pinterest to look at Grumpy Cat memes*

This entry was posted on January 19, 2013, in Uncategorized. 2 Comments

Just Call Me Colonel Slacker

Whoa. It’s January 17th!!  HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? I had GOALS!!  I was supposed to be WRITING this whole time!!!! Shit!

Life gets in the way sometimes, kwim? Have had lots of kid drama, school meetings, doctor appointments, all the fun stuff. 

I’ve been using my patented stress management techniques — denial, avoidance, procrastination, irritable bowels, and eating all the carbs.

*cracks whip* Time to get focused!!!

This entry was posted on January 17, 2013, in Uncategorized. Leave a comment

Meet the Newest Member of the Superficial Family

It’s Bemis, our new toilet seat! We’ve worn out, and even broken, several of these. Yeah, I see those shocked faces!

The Frug noted that “Bemis” is a nice combo of “butt” and “penis”…See why he and I are MFEO??!!

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This entry was posted on January 14, 2013, in Uncategorized. 1 Comment